Harry Potter and The Sub Rosa
by RonChee
Summary: Kicked out and taken in by the mysterious Sub Rosa, watch Harry learn to love again, even while The-Boy-Who-Lived's greatest enemy is lurking at Hogwarts, suddenly and inexplicably competent. What are the Sub Rosa's goals that require vast sums of money, and can Harry help? Should he? Decide fast, Harry Potter, the clock's ticking down.
1. Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

The Dursleys would shout from the rooftops "We're normal" if they thought for one moment their neighbors would not consider the act of doing so abnormal in of itself, so is it any wonder they kicked out the boy after one abnormal thing too many?

The boy in question didn't think so, he'd long given up acting like Dudley to appease the Dursleys, if anything acting like precious Duddy-kins just made things worse.

So when he finally got to school he paid attention and did his best, very much unlike his cousin who seemed more inclined to talk with the other kids and make fun of the Boy and anyone else that caught his eye and didn't meet his family's standards.

Sadly however the Boy's best wasn't good enough, sure he had answered the questions right, but he didn't know his own name. It wasn't his fault, but the teachers seemed to think he was mocking them and wouldn't believe him when he said otherwise, finally calling his Uncle.

The drive home was filled with tension, his Uncle's neck had never been so red. As he tried walking through the front door he was pushed out the door on his butt, his few articles of elephant-sized clothing getting scattered about him, "There boy, don't say we never gave you anything, now, get, and I don't want to see your freakishness disgracing this neighborhood again." The door slammed shut.

In an alternative universe perhaps he would have been punished- perhaps merely spending a few nights outside, then dumbed down his studies, hindered his learning. This is not that universe.

***'

Despite how lucky the Dursleys said the boy was for taking him in, he was finding being on his own far better. The nights weren't that much colder than in the cupboard under the stairs, though that might change in Winter, for now with all the miniature gorilla's clothes made it a little warm.

Besides, the Boy was long since used to finishing leftovers, so wasn't very squeamish. Restaurants and grocery stores threw away tons of perfectly good food, he usually ate better than he had at the Dursley's home, how sad was that?

Sure, he was usually chased away if the employees saw him, either to catch him to call his cops or his dead parents, or the cops for stealing out of dumpsters, but he didn't care, they never caught him even if some places had to be written off so they would keep not catching him.

Cooking was more of a challenge- namely, he didn't have a way to, and cleaning his clothes... Well, they got mostly clean in bathroom sinks, and so did he, and there usually wasn't anyone yelling at him to hurry up unlike at the Dursleys.

Even if the other kids he saw didn't want to play with him, a boy in a makeshift shirt knapsack, clothes worn and two times his size, he at least had toys of his own.

Discarded balls and even a Frisbee from a park, where he also discovered grills that just needed some wood and matches which made for a nice change of diet.

Panhandling usually wasn't fun though- they all either ignored him or wanted them to go with him, one time it was a man and that freakish thing that happened around him sometimes happened again, the man was thrown into a garbage can allowing the boy to run.

He wished he knew what that was, he always felt a bit tired and giddy from it, but that was it. Maybe the Dursleys knew, but if so they'd never tell him, especially not now.

The library where the boy sometimes went much to the librarian's obvious disdain didn't have anything on it, well, there was magic- but that was just card and coin tricks. Still, that could be fun too, and he didn't have all that much else to do.

Still, the boy-who-lived-under-a-bridge wished, as he rolled a coin across his knuckles before it seemingly vanished, that he knew why he could do those weird things. He also could use a name come to think of it.

Not all wishes come true, but some do.

A shooting star passed overhead, and the boy reiterated his wish.

The shooting star- a frozen hunk of poop from an airplane- seemed to sparkle, taking the Boy's wish into consideration- that or the friction from falling was burning pieces of it, one of those.


	2. How I Wonder What You Are

Professor Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, Order of Merlin (first class), Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Supreme Mugwump of the International Confederation of Wizards, and Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot was tired, and who wouldn't be with a name that long? Why couldn't people just call him Albus?

More over, he was tired for other reasons as well, just having returned to what he considered his home, Hogwarts School Of Witchcraft And Wizardry after a most frustrating and tiresome meeting of the International Confederation of Wizards. The meeting, something that should have been over and done with in a single day had carried on for weeks, weeks!

The various members were squabbling and dithering on a very serious mishap involving this new fangled World Wide Web- some genius had uploaded scans of their school books and the wizards of the ICW wanted to destroy the internet and _Obliviate_ everyone involved in it. That was better than the Representative from Australia that wanted to protect the spider that spun the web, telling any who would listen that "Spiders are more afraid of us than we are of them, just leave the little beasties be Shelia." Who this Shelia person was, none could say, translation charms, runic translating earrings and Language Lozenges only did so much.

In the end the ICW had decided that the various representatives would bring their concerns to the various ministries, and send along a participant or two in a task-force for cracking down on this World Wide Web, and much as it galled most of the members of the auspicious body, the task-force would comprise of and be led by Muggleborns- under the yoke of the ICW, naturally.

Albus Dumbledore was just sitting down in his chair- most certainly not a throne, and he did so wish the students would stop spreading silly rumors- when he noticed most of his doodads and gizmos, normally twirling and puffing smoke, swaying and dancing about, something he normally enjoyed watching, were still, abnormally so. Connected as they were to The-Boy-Who-Lived, his family and the wards of Number Four Privet Drive, for them to have sudden all gone dark was not a good sign.

Eyes widening, he quickly yelled out "Fawkes" something old men probably shouldn't do in schools- but instead of cursing he was calling for his most loyal companion.

In a flash of fire a red bird whose feather's almost seemed like fire appeared in a puff of smoke and without a word- since it's a noble bird and not one of those snobby Parrots- landed on his pet's shoulder's and with a caw flashed- something else you really shouldn't do at a school- and in a puff of fire and smoke reappeared in a dark neighborhood with houses all looking the same and more importantly to the bird, no Garden Gnomes to eat.

Albus took off running as soon as his feet touched the ground, displacing the bird on his shoulders. With an annoyed chirp the bird vanished in another puff of smoke. Dumbledore reached the front door not bothering putting out the lights, a mere negligent wave turning his robes into a purple and green muggle suit, not feeling the barest hint of blood wards hindering him from casting nor entering.

With a frown his hand was a blur as he smoothly in a single motion drew out his wand and slashed it with a bare thought, the door unlocking and slamming open, his wand up and flashing out a golden _Homenum Revelio_ that spread throughout the domicile showing in golden light through the walls a mere three beings rushing forth, none of them Harry Potter distressingly enough.

"What's the racket! YOU! Get out! I'll have no more freakishness in this house-"

Ignoring the irate giraffe-like Muggle Dumbledore quickly zoned in on the nervous looking Walrus fumbling with a fire-leg or whatever the device was called, who looked far too nervous.

A negligent wave of his wand turns it into a fish, and even as the beast of a man yelps dropping the salmon that flops fruitlessly on the floor, a glance in the man's eyes is all it takes. He hated doing this to others but he had to have answers and time could be of the essence.

Dumbledore's head was filled of scenes tinged with fear and hatred, of throwing a baby into a cupboard, accidental magic bouncing the boy saving his life, of scraps of food and hand-me-down-clothes, of forcing the child to do chores so long his hands bled, things he would not condemn to a full grown man.

Wrenching his mind away after seeing a scene of Vernon kicking out a young child, he spat in disgust.

For the first time since he had last faced Tom in battle, the old man had fire in his eyes, the air seemed to fill with the smell of ozone even as anything loose rattled and shook.

Never before had he understood the hatred Tom had for the Muggle world. He had once thought of them as less than Wizards, and had sought to conquer them for the Greater Good, to guide them, to save them from themselves... But never had he hated a Muggle quite as much as he did that night, not since poor Ariana was so viciously attacked... Even then, those muggles had been mere children! These were adults, adults that should have known better! Magicals considered children nearly sacred, and these Muggles...

"I would like nothing more than to punish you for what you have done to that poor boy. Fortunately for you, I shall merely leave you with this. The Wizarding World was on the brink of destruction, and inexplicably Harry Potter saved us all. The protection offered by living with his blood family was two-fold, it would protect both him, and you. It is gone. When- and yes, it is when, not if- the Wizarding World discovers how you treated their savior- a figure they look upon like the Christ reborn, there will be no safe place to hide from the masses seeking revenge upon you. I only pray that they stop with you."

Apparating out with a thunder-crack, he left just in the knick of time, as a frozen but burning hunk of poop, now no larger than a TV crashed in the living room through the window setting the drapes alight, causing all three Dursleys to yell and run in fright.

"Pack up, we're going to Morocco, I'd like to see the freaks find us there! Hurry up, essentials only!" Vernon shouted.

Elsewhere Harry Potter turned in his sleep, a bright smile on his face.

The-Boy-Who-Lived-Under-A-Bridge made his daily rounds with a spring in his step, a glint in his eye as he remembered last night's wish upon a star.

Throughout the day spent dumpster diving and panhandling he kept a sharp eye out for anything that could explain the strange occurrences that sometimes happened to him, like when Dudley was pinching him jumping up and helling like a bee had stung him, or turning one of Marge's dogs that had been attacking him into a monkey that sang and danced. Oddly enough, he didn't get punished for the latter, it seemed as though no one remembered it occurring and he wasn't about to bring it up.

That and the dreams. Ever since he was little he dreamed of a playful dog, Bambi and oddest of all, green light that made him wake up feeling sick.

He wasn't having much luck though- a few stale bagels for breakfast, no sweet pastries in sight, and a few pence from hours of wanderings, the boy was about ready to give up for the day, maybe head to the library and give the books another crack when he saw it.

It being a faintly glowing letter, one he didn't recognize. The-Boy-Who-Cooked learned all of the letters, or so he thought, his A... Mrs Dursley, he corrected to himself, made him learn so he could follow recipes when forced to cook for the family.

But a glowing red "T" with two lines on top and two broken lines going vertically? He had no clue what it meant, but it was glowing, and didn't have any right to be doing so, considering it was on the brick wall, it didn't pop out like that neon stuff, he had no clue how they did that.

The boy wondered if he should try to go in, but despite his recent independence and unwillingness to be cowed completely by the Dursleys treatment, he found a lump in his throat at the thought of meeting more apathetic or angry adults.

Luckily or not, the matter was solved for him when a hand clamped on his shoulder "Well well well, what ave' we ere?"


	3. Entering The Rabbit Hole

The-Boy-With-No-Name- no relation to The-Horse-With-No-Name- stiffened as the hand clamped on his shoulder and asked in mangled English "Well, Well, Well, what 'ave we ere"

Ducking down didn't dislodge the hand, nor did elbowing the man in the jewels, and going limp just made him chuckle, "Got sum figh' in ya lad, gotta ive you tha, now why don't we head in and get a meal inta ya?"

The Boy's stomach growled at that. The blushing Boy glanced down and glared, muttering "Traitor." to it, which gave rise to another chuckle.

The Boy reluctantly allowed him to be steered towards the house, all while looking for a Bobby, or maybe a Buxom Mother- those usually gave the best- and also tried hardest to get him to go home or with them to the police, but in this case they'd be welcome to.

Then again, this might be it, the knowledge he was seeking?

Reaching the door, the man knocked. Instead of opening, a slit eyepiece was, well, slid, revealing a set of eyes, "Password?"

Instead of speaking the man still gripping the boy's shoulder spun slightly, revealing something I couldn't see to the eyeslit. Immediately the door opened with no one on the other side to the Boy's shock, and as they entered The Boy looked about but couldn't see the man on the other side of the door anywhere.

"Just a portrait Lad- er, think like a TV show but with a 'erson inside." The man said upon noticing the Boy's confusion, not that it cleared up much- or even was accurate really.

Aside from the portrait, man and boy, no one else was there "Ell, where is everybody, don't wan' to do the explaining meself, I'd mangle it, was the full moon last night it twas!" the Man shouted.

"Calm your balls Frankie, what's the hubbub?" A woman half yelled entering the room and looking like nothing the Boy had seen, bald on the sides of her head, a half-mowhawk, half pineapple styled haircut in bright orange spikes was the strangest bit, if not for the numerous piercings on her ears- rings, studs and... were those safety pins? By comparison the tiny white top covered a bit by the spiked leather jacket and the purple and black sweats and combat boots were perfectly normal.

The Dursleys would have hated her, which made the boy like her on principal.

"This Lad ere was staring at the rune and I'd like to induct em! E's got some fight in em, 'e does!"

"Really? He can't be older than.. what, 4?"  
The boy was indigent at that "I'm five!" the boy snarled out.

The man laughed "See what I mean!"

The pat on the back nearly sent the boy to the ground, but at least he seemed disinclined to touch him again, nothing good ever followed a touch. Then again, he glanced at the woman who seemed to be holding in laughter, that or needed to vomit

Shaking her head the woman said "Who are you and where are your parents kid?"

"I..."

"This wasn't meant to be a hard question, do you know where they are?"

"No."

"Well, what about where you live? I'll take you back?"

The boys eyes widened "Not to.. not to the cops?"

"Why would I involve muggles, bah!"

"Muggles?"

"Er- People not like us."

"Oh, well... I don't need help getting home, thanks for the offer though." He didn't want to tell anyone he lived under a bridge- or to know he was there, they might take his few possessions not deemed worthy to be carried around in his shirt-pack.

All the while he explained the woman stared into his eyes- and he almost couldn't look away, finally managing it, rubbing his head at the sudden headache.

"You live under a bridge!?"

The boy swallowed but nodded.

"Fine, we'll induct him Frankie, alright kid, here's the deal-"

"The kids starvin' I recommend we do it over lunch Rosie."

"Fine, give me time to think up how to explain, well, us, but the short of it is you're one of us and for as long as you want to you can live here."

The Boy blinked rapidly, trying to keep up, trying not to cry- crying wasn't something big boys did, and it certainly didn't get you anything as far as he knew unless you were Dudley.

He let himself get led into a dining room attached to a massive kitchen, and was headed towards the kitchen to cook but... "What are you doing?" She didn't sound angry, but that wasn't usually a question that led to good outcomes "Cooking?" The Boy asked confused.

She snorted "No need, you can cook later if you like after someone shows you a few things... well, maybe I'll show you myself if you can cook... Here..." She led the boy to the fridge, opening it up while the boy was trying to come to terms with being allowed to cook only if he wanted to.

To the Boy's confusion, the fridge was absolutely filled with clear containers, with writing of foods on them, the containers holding multitudes of pills, "What's your favorite food Sweetie?"

Looking at her skeptically he said "Chocolate." having had the treat a few times- the Dursley's may not get him or allow him much of anything of his own, but even Dudley couldn't always finish his ice cream.

"Eh, why not, but you really should eat better or you'll end up like Lardo- er, he's a member of our group the size of a small whale." The woman blew up her lips, holding her arms out imitating how the man looked causing the Boy to giggle.

The boy nodded after he stopped, he'd love to eat better. As it was she grabbed three "Chocolate Mousse" pills, along with two milk and one chocolate milk pills, and carrying to the table, to the boy's shock started throwing them on the table, each expanding into a plate containing chocolate mousse in a bowl with a spoon in it, the milk even had straws for those inclined.

"Well, go on, you've got the chocolate milk, eat and drink up." Putting action to words Rosie sat down and began eating despite her speech on good eating, the man more sedate.

The Boy very much enjoyed the experience, melting with the first bite, despite his skepticism, but... "How..." he stalled, how, everything, how was there a vanishing man, how was the rune glowing, the Boy was so full of "how" he felt like he might combust.

"Well, the short answer's magic, the long answer is, well, long."

"Magic?" The boy asked skeptically, "I can do magic, hold on..." He grabbed a coin from his pocket and started his routine, flicking the coin across his knuckles before making it vanish hidden in his palm, before pushing it in between his fingers, and showing his empty palms, before with a wave of both hands showing the backs before pulling it out out of Rosie's ear.

The man- Frankie the boy reminded himself, giggled and clapped, but the woman after a snort said "Very well done, but no, I mean like this-" She flicked her hand and cursed as a piece of wood fell to the floor, Frankie laughed uproariously.

"Can it you, just got this holster, still getting used to it." Rosie said, and with a flick of her hand to the stick flew into her hand to the boys amazement flicked it at Frankie who crashed to the floor along with his desk as he was turned into a donkey "Take that you jackass." A loud hee-haw came from the distressed donkey as it tried scrambling to it's feet, another flick of the stick setting him to rights, if still on all fours.

"We don't do parlor tricks here kid-" Rosie began again, Frankie interrupting her "The other Frank does- the one over in the Manchester house." Continuing as if she hadn't been interrupted Rosie finishes with "We do real wand waving magic, Freaky Franky aside, no relation to this lump."

"Wow." Was all the boy could breathe out, ignoring Frankie's "Ey!", though he hoped the other Franky was treated better then he was when he was called freak.

More importantly... "Can you turn Frankie into a donkey again?"

"Ey!"

"Now now, lets finish our food first before it melts, I can always turn Frankie into a Jackass the next time he deserves it."

"I'm right ere' ya know!?"

"Bray louder Frankie and the Muggles will hear you"

The Boy giggled again, before picking his spoon back up.

Magic, it was magic what he could do, the Boy thought. Maybe some dreams do come true.


	4. A Rose By Any Other Name

Instead of cleaning up the dishes like normal people- muggles- the woman instead waved her stick over the table, with a sort of poke after and all the silverware vanished.

"Where did they go?" The boy said astonished, looking under the table, it didn't seem to be thick enough to hide all those dishes.

"Nowhere, that is to say, everywhere." Rosie said confusingly.

"In English love, we aven't all been to fancy-dancy 'oarding schools." Frankie snorted out.

"They get turned into the smallest bits of what they're made of- probably atoms, and scattered everywhere, in short it's a vanishing charm." Rosie explained.

"Dat's better."

The boy blinked, that would have certainly come in useful at the Dursley's home, he could have vanished the Dursley's! Or at least their trash, which they seemed to make an abundance of.

As he followed the two back into the living room he started really taking in the house- too distracted, worried and hungry before to. The insides were like some swanky mansion, copper shined so so hard it looked like gold adorned all the lamps and railing of the stairs leading up along with a massive chandelier, the chairs were all leather, and the bookshelves were all filled to the brim with books of all different sizes, mostly hard backed and of the size that could crush small children's feet if dropped. The boy backed away from them sitting hesitantly at a chair, and at no signs of protest from the adults, relaxed a fraction.

"Alright, so, we've covered magic- you're here because you've seen the rune- so you're magic- but what we haven't really covered is, well, us. We're a group of... well, I suppose you could call us a commune and not be completely wrong, but we, The Sub Rosa-" Rosie was interrupted again by Frankie "I prefer calling us Koozbane, but I was outvoted, I was."

"What's a Koozebane?"

"See, the lad here likes it."

"Enough Frankie! Sweetie, Koozebane is some punk thing, something they call the outcasts of the muggle world, and it's already taken. That's why we usually go with Sub Rosa- which means underground group and sounds mystical enough for the big wigs. We... well, we're a group that's mostly disconnected from the magical world."

"Magical world? Do most magicals live on the Moon?" The boy asked wide-eyed at a whole other planet full of people.

"They might as well, for all the sense that lot 'ave." Frankie bit back a snarl.

"No, they only call them that, they usually live in small towns, they have their own shopping districts, their own schools, and mostly keep away from Muggles. They're also... Well, they don't like people that don't kowtow to the Ministry, and don't like people with Muggle parents, or well, creature inheritance like Frankie here" The Boy wasn't sure what kowtowing was, but it sounded painful, and creature inheritance didn't sound better, did that mean his Mom was a duck or something?

"Ey, don't tell the brat 'bout dat, I don' wanna scare em off!"

"I'm sure the... What is your name sweetie?"

The boy swallowed heavily, not wanting to admit it but not seeing an out, these people just fed him better than the Dursley's ever had, that counted for something.

Finally he decided on the truth. "I... I don't know, they usually called me boy or..."

"Or what?" The woman seemed angry, the Boy was worried but finally whispered "Freak."

"Those utter bastards, well, we won't be calling you that... Hm... You're a Scruffy thing, and that's a good name as any, we can always call you something else if you think of a name you like better, how about it?"

"Scruffy?" The Boy tasted the name and found he didn't hate it.

"I think I'd like being called Scruffy." He said in a small voice, a name that didn't hurt when he was called it was a rare thing. He hadn't minded being called sweetheart or lad either, but those weren't names. It was more that they were being said in kind voices than anything else anyway.

"Anyway Scruffy, Frankie here... well, he gets sick once a month, rather like women-" "Ey!" "-and can't be around other people."

"I'm sorry about that Frankie" Scruffy said, he seemed a kindred spirit, heck, half the reason he hadn't protested louder at being kidnapped more or less was that he felt like a kindred spirit, was similarly attired in clothes that had seen better days, a near thread bare cloth trench coat of all things, tears and rips in the fabric showing he was bare under it all, just what affliction did he have, Scruffy wondered, streaking?

"It's alright lad, I got me a nice forest the Sub Rosa's warded off to run in, keep it stocked with deer too, s'not all bad."

"Warded?" A forest at least explained the tears in his trench coat.

"Er... have you seen Star Trek?"

The Scruffy boy shook his head.

"Da- I mean Dang, that would have made things easy, well, they... er- help me out here Frankie."

"Alrigh' wards are like... tank armor- they keep stuff out that you want out, stuff that you want in, 'ell, in. "

"Yeah, that's more or less it, in this case they keep people out and Frankie in so he can't hurt anyone else when he's feeling under the weather."

"Oh, okay" That, to Scruffy sounded like they were avoiding just what it was Frankie had, but that was fine, everyone had their secrets. He certainly didn't want anyone to start asking what happened to him before he lived under a bridge.

Rosie glanced at Frankie and seeing him relieved was a load off the mind.  
"Anyway, we're the outcasts, the dregs. There was a war, a terrible war that targeted the kind of people that make up the Sub Rosa from both sides, but a bunch of us had something that most wizards don't, common sense." Frankie snorted at that, Rosie ignored it and carried on "So we got out of the Wizarding World when the going was good, oh we still make the occasional trip for potion supplies, books and the like but otherwise... It wasn't even hard, ward a piece of land that the muggles haven't built on, and... Well, there's a branch of magic called transfiguration that lets you change the shape and even material out of things- it's not permanent... but that's not a problem because there are a bunch of charms that mimic it to a degree and are. Transfiguration changes a thing temporarily like so-" She pulled out her wand and with a weird figure eight and poke and a muttered word changed bit of lint into a rose- though Scruffy could have done that if he was wearing something with longer sleeves he thought. "Where as the charms version is, well, "Accio log" To Scuffy's delight a log sailed through the air without any visible wires though before he could wave his hand over it to make sure it was on the table and another comprehensible stick movement followed by "Figura" and the wood steamed, obscuring what was happening fractionally but the general shape was easy to suss out, and as the steam fully cleared Scruffy was amazed as Rosie reached in and pulled out a wooden car, setting it on the coffee table rolling it with a light push.

"This should last, well, as long as anything carved lasts, a few spells-" It was as if Rosie was conducting an orchestra as the car grew shiny and polished, before being changed into a red car with black tires. "- and now it should last nearly forever as long as you take care of it."

"It... It's for me?" Scruffy asked in wonder.

Rose winced internally, it was just a toy car, one made to prove a point but the way the boy's eyes were shining at her in wonder... Just what had happened to Scruffy? Still, she managed somehow to keep that off her face.

"Of course sweetie. Anyway, we did the same thing as that, only we used stone and on a much grander scale to build our home- there are similar things we did to make all this possible- we could be cut off completely from both the muggle and wizarding worlds and be just fine- well, aside from some potion ingridents and entertainment, and more specialized foods and drinks that we don't yet have anyone making- but we'd survive it. That's the only thing- to be part of the commune, well, you've got to contribute somehow, well, normally at least, you're young yet, but if you stay with us you'd need to do something."

Scruffy tried to pay attention but midway in he couldn't resist rolling around the car a bit, it was the best thing anyone had ever given Scruffy, and that had him sold on The Sub Rosa even if it sounded a bit like communism from his Un- from Vernon Dursley's rants.

"For the things we can't make though... Well, making money is easy, there are hundreds of ways to make money with magic, Merlin, in a pinch we could easily duplicate muggle money, or summon lost money and jewels from the gutters and streets or even the beaches, or summon gold dust from rivers- and we don't need much money to begin with. It's not perfect, but it's a damn sight better the other witches and wizards managed. We don't have any major problems because all of the Sub Rosa swear oaths on our magic- meaning if we promise to be good, and if we break our word and do really bad things to each other we get punished by losing our magic."

"Wow." The Boy, Scruffy, was astounded, peace on pain of losing something as awesome as magic, something that can make toys?

"Now, you'll need a wand to swear the oath, well, unless we get you up to scratch wandlessly but that would take ages and the other members wouldn't stand for a non-member staying in one of our houses long term, so what's say we see if Lardo is up to the task?"

They... They really wanted him to be a part of that? That sounded great and horrible... Probably something a bit much to put on the shoulders of a 6 year old. Then again, he hadn't even known what he could do was magic, what did he care if he lost it? For the other half of it, if it turned out to be no good, he could leave and be no worse off than he was before even if he couldn't hurt any of them, that didn't matter, he didn't want to hurt anyone except maybe the Dursleys.

Scruffy nodded after a minute of hard thinking.

"You two go an do that, I want me a kip." Frankie said, getting up with a grunt, "Welcome to the party kid, you'll fit righ' in" Scruffy flinched as Frankie made his hair even scruffier, even as Rosie waved Frankie off, and got up herself, Scruffy eagerly following.


	5. A Scruffy Home

Too-many-names, or as he liked to think of himself, Albus, and wished more people called him that, was annoyed, and not just with his name.

Ah, curse his advanced age, too much time lost in thought, time that was precious indeed at these, what should have been the golden years of his life, the looming shadow of the blood war on his mind and now Harry has gone missing... It wasn't quite the quiet retirement he had planne, the man thought to himself, looking around for Arabella.

Albus "Al" Dumbledore had apparated straight into Arabella Figg's home from the Dursleys. Normally he would not be quite so crass, to apparate from within a person's home, much less straight into another, but time was of the essence. The Durley's might not have known or cared where The-Boy-Who-Lived, but Arabella might have, that is if she weren't busy whacking an intruder with an umbrella.

"Ow, Arabella, it is ow, Albus Dumbledore" Finally he shielded- he didn't like using magic against those without any themselves, but that had hurt. The shield was also of a variance that gave enough light so she could see he was no impostor, none would be so snappishly dressed, he thought. The rest of the universe disagreed for different reasons, pinstripe suits shouldn't be in purple and green, but he'd been in a hurry and that had been his favorite suit back in the 80's, easy to transfigure.

"Oh! Heavens, why didn't you just use the door or floo Dumbledore?" The squib didn't put down the umbrella, it really was awfully rude of him.

"You don't know." Dumbledore frowned.

"Know what?"

"Harry's missing-"

"No he's not, he's there- all too much of him I'd say, they over feed him so much he might be wider than he is tall one of these days, though I haven't seen the scrawny hoodlum of theirs since he got kicked out a few months, and it was long overdue! That boy is a menace!"

A quick peek in Arabella's mind cleared matters up, and Dumbledore slumped. She had been watching the wrong boy, and even bought into malicious rumors about him. His shield deactivating from the weighty matters on his mind ruining his concentration, and that's when Figg the Squib struck, hitting the great wizard below the belt as the muggles say. "Next time use the door or the Floo, I thought you were some criminal! I'll trust you can see yourself out." Figg walked away with a bounce in her step.

As Albus Dumbledore lay clutching himself in agony, he wondered not for the first time if he'd been going about things the right way, and judging from the pain he was in and the missing status of Harry Potter, he decided he had not.

In that moment Albus Dumbledore decided he'd do better. More over, judging how a slow old woman with an umbrella managed to catch him off guard, if he was going to be around long enough to help, he would have to do things he'd rather not, he thought with a grimace.

Pain is a wonderful motivator, and to think, it might not have happened if not for an angry old squib with an umbrella.

The scruffy boy followed the witch into a closet. Instead of being the start of a bad joke, said witch conducted even more of an orchestra waving her wand here and there as fabric from bolts flew out, and using the same spell as she had with the wood, cutting and binding together parts and pieces, bits and bobs, and the boy was astonished to see 3 sets of clothes being made- utilitarian though they may be coming to existence out of them. A large bolt of denim made a couple pairs of pants and shorts, a bolt of cotton made a t-shirt, long sleeved shirt and sweatshirt, and some of that cotton and a ball of rubber bands made not only socks but underpants as well, along with pajamas. Finally out of a block of rubber with dozens of craters in it, what looked like a falling apart lunch box, and another bolt of fabric were a pair of shoes and a backpack.

The woman was looking a little tired by the end, finally asking "What colors do you like?"

"Huh?"

"What colors do you want your clothes to be?"

"Uh, well I like Red." He had a dream that a pretty red head had protected him, there were worse reasons for a color preference. "I guess anything, not green though." Green took away the lady. Frowning he tried to think of another. He'd never been asked what colors he liked in his life, never really thought about it, but in the end couldn't.

The T-shirts once a dull white were soon made red, as were the shoe laces, and most of the knapsack, with blue and black designs and accents and it finally clicked that those too were for him.

"Well, get dressed, I'll wait outside."

The-Boy-Who-Lived-To-Be-Astonished gaped for mere seconds more before doing so, feeling hundreds of times better, stuffing the new clothes and old into the new backpack, along with the toy car- which to his amazement all fit in easily as if it were a bit bigger on the inside than on the outside.

"Well, maybe we'll need a new name for you sooner rather than later, you're not looking that Scruffy to me." Rosie teased once the boy left the closet. The boy though was having none of that, and said as much, "I like being Scruffy." Messing up his hair in the hopes that it would help lead Rosie into a fit of giggles, even as she managed to say "Alright, now you're scruffy, now lets get going or we're liable to come during dinner- and if there's one thing you don't want, it's to make a Lardo skip a meal, they'll never let you forget it."

Scruffy wasn't sure if he agreed- he often thought Vernon and Dudley could have stood skip a few meals instead of forcing him to, then they wouldn't be so fat, but he knew what it was like to miss a meal, so hurried to follow.

Rosie led Scruffy to another weird person-less peephole patrolled by a portrait, and with another flash of something on someone that he couldn't see- this time on the upper arm, the door opening.

Scruffy stopped a mere couple feet in, attention absorbed by the mirror, though just calling it a mirror did it a grave injustice.

It was a mirror unlike any he'd seen- shined silver instead of clear glass that seemed to glow from within, it was mesmerizing.

"Don't touch that- I'll explain after you take the oath."

Scruffy hadn't even realized that he'd been inching towards the mirror until she said something and held him back with a hand.

Rosie instead led Scruffy to the most boring looking brick wall in the history of brick walls, really, there was nothing interesting at all about it, why was she... Suddenly he was shoved through the wall, Rosie following close behind.

It was a rush, seeing all those bricks as one passed through them as he was seemingly squeezed through the cracks, and feeling like he was flying forward through darkness, only to enter through and pass by another brick wall.

Blinking he barely managed to keep from stumbling with a large grin on his face, he wanted to do that again!

It was a reluctant boy that he followed her through another portrait guard after showing the mysterious.. pimple? Birthmark? He wasn't sure but thought it might be rude to ask.

This place was far plainer than the last, made primarily of wood and a look out the window showed they were in the forest, though the trees looked like such a large variety that it was like no forest he'd seen before. Most trees didn't impale bunnies on their branches to seemingly eat, stuffing it into a hollow in it's trunk, nor had he ever seen a purple tree- and... was that a giant candy cane?

Looking closely he could almost see creatures on each and every tree, but it was hard to tell for sure, they blended in so well.

A throat clearing behind Scruffy had him blushing as he turned and started apologizing "I'm sorry-"

"Don't worry about it Scruffy, first time seeing a magical plantation's liable to get lost in the sight, but we'd best get this done before dinner. He should be in his workshop, come on."

As Scruffy followed, though the majority of his attention was on each and every window.

The portly man was indeed in his workshop and as they reached it Rosie gestured for silence even as the man known as Lardo worked his craft, looking rather like a mad scientist as he had a piece of wood into a device that spun it about even as he wittled it down into an elaborately shaped wand.

Reaching a stopping point the machine's whine slowly died and he took off his goggles and brushed himself free of wood.

"Afternoon Rose, finally managed to seduce you inta learning wand craft?"

"Fraid not, Lardo, meet my latest sponsor, Scruffy. Scruffy, this is Lardo." Which rather went without explaining.

"Nice ta' meecha Kid." Lardo said while engulfing Scruffy's in a rough handshake.

"You too sir." The man looked a bit too much like Vernon to not treat with a sort of fearful respect, though looking at him... he may have more than a bit around the middle but his arms looked like they could crush a buffalo.

"None of that, call me Lardo, everyone does. So what brings ya here?"

"Er alright Si-Lardo. Um, Rosie said I need a wand to do an oath?"

"Bit young ain't he Rose?"

Scruffy didn't hear what Rose whisperered to Lardo, but the man seemed to stare at Scruffy's hair to his confusion.

"Wand it is, unless... could I interest you in a ring, or perhaps a staff? You'll be having to beat off the women with a stick when you get older after all..."

Scruffy was just about to say he didn't know which was best when Rosie spoke,"Lardo, a wand is fine, if he wants something else he can get it after."

"Um, I guess so?" Scruffy said with a shrug as Lardo ignored Rosie waiting for his answer, a new experience for him.

"Decisive one, ain't e'? " Lardo asked Rosie hopefully.

She shook her head "He's new to all this, listen Scruffy, wands are the best for beginners- there are more books on them, heck, you'd be hard pressed to find a book on using a staff- Lardo might have one or two-" "More than that Lass." "-But I don't think anyone's made one on using a ring, and all magical focuses are different- and I can't teach any but a wand."  
"Bah, you come back here if you want to learn to use a ring or a staff, I don't mind taking on an apprentice now and then. What'll it be kid?"

"Thanks, a wand would be fine."

Scruffy wasn't sure if he'd have minded a staff, though a ring sounded a bit girly. Still, if Rosie thought a wand was best that was good enough for now. Still, he'd have to keep Lardo's offer in mind.

Lardo shrugged it off "Now, as for picking your wand, follow me. Most wand-crafters only work with a few magical animal parts paired with a dozen or so woods- takes a long time to learn to do- each animal part has different challenges to craft into a wand, and various woods take different touches. 'Course, some like me instead of expanding upon how many animal pieces and woods they work with they experiment on other things, and well, you've already heard bout' my rings and staffs, managed both from scratch- got some decent staffs in Germany but they guard the knowledge zealously and they work rather like oversized wands, bah!"

"Anyhow, I use Griffin's feathers- lions with an eagle's head and wings, my family's been raising the ornery buggers for a centuries. Started buying up some dragon heart strings after that since the methodology of making wands out of them is well documented, but I'm most proud of learning to craft out o' ant-lions. Er, think giant ants if you hit em with an ugly stick and gave em spikes." Seeing Scruffy's confusion on a couple of the animals he explained even while he lead them all downstairs.

"There are dragons? Awesome!" Scruffy couldn't help but say. The griffins didn't sound bad either, though he wouldn't like to see an ant-lion. Why couldn't it have been giant spiders? He rather liked the spiders in his- in the Dursley's cupboard, after all.

"Heh, they are at that, now here we are."

Here turned out to be a featureless stone basement, the walls, floor and ceiling felt... tingly like static.

Scruffy was handed wand after wand, taken from drawers behind stone covers that slid aside at Lardo's touch, and the reason why they were in the basement became clear.  
"Maple 'n dragon heartstring- think it was one of em Chinese ones. Pick it up and give it a go, eh?" as Lardo explained holding a box out to Scruffy. It looked like just a polished stick- though one that was nearly flat and surprisingly thin. As soon as he grabbed it a gust of hot air nearly blasted Lardo off his feet, but he managed to wrench it from Scruffy's hands. "That's a no, we're going to stick clear of dragon's me thinks."

The first ant-lion wand wasn't much better, it looked like an antenna made out of wood with a bulbous tip, and as soon as he touched it felt like it was giving him a headache before nearly flying away from his hand nearly burning from friction, hitting a wall.

Waving off the boy's apologies he offered another, "Suppose that just leaves griffin's eh? Try this one for size, Birch, 13 inches I think, unusually long and rigid." For some reason at that he wagged his eyebrows at Rosie.

As soon as he grabbed the wand that looked like a ornate shrunken bedpost that smoothed and thinned out significantly past the handle, Scruffy felt as if it and his hand had become weightless, the feeling carrying through his body. It felt like the first night away from the Dursley's when he finally realized he was free and it wasn't a bad thing. Cool air swirled about carried the golden sparks flying out of his wand as he swished it for the first time, grinning widely.

"By Scott, that's the one- you'll be hard pressed to get a stronger reaction than that!" Lardo said with a smile, handing over the box one the wind died down, "There's a holster in the box- and you're free ta' keep the box as well if you like. Fitting really, birch wood is for new beginnings and all that, that right there's a healer's wand, but the griffin ensures it's got some bite to it."

"Thanks! That was amazing." Scruffy said grinning even as he worked out how to put on the holster with Rosie's help.

Scruffy was rather tired, but after being led back to the house Rosie reminded him about the oath after dinner.

"Now for the oath, are you ready to swear to not harm a member of the Sub Rosa, Scruffy?" Rosie asked, and Scruffy shuffled his feet uncomfortable with how Rosie's eyes seemed to bore into his very soul.

"I.. yes." He finally said.

"Good, then it's not needed." Rosie said with a smile.

"Huh?"

"Honestly, while it's a good idea in theory... well, in practice taking away someone's free will in such a way... well first off it's not something most people would like. You'd feel like you're wearing metaphorical chains for the rest of your life, the slightest mistake spelling the end of your ability to do magic... It's not something to be taken lightly even if you swear to do something you'll never do. Worse still, a simple friendly duel could strip you of magic, besides, what if one of the Sub Rosa went rouge and started indirectly ordering attacks on us, the ringleader protected by oaths? No, the oath was a test- agreeing to it shows you don't mean us harm for now. It's not perfect, but an oath wouldn't be perfect either."

Scruffy felt nothing but relief at that, even as he was led to a bedroom larger than even the Dursley's and told "It's yours as long as you want it." It wasn't quite real until that moment, and as he cried tears of happiness and was held by a worried Rosie, he fell into the best sleep of his life.


	6. A Scruffy Educucation

Over a year later, and there had been very little progress on the search for Harry. Albus Dumbledore tried his best not to think of the consequences of that. To search for the boy for his sake and not for the sake of the country, but for the sake of an innocent boy. Even without the dark whispers out of Albania that he feared may very well be the wraith of Voldemort, even without the prophesy this was a publicity nightmare. He was, after all, more than a mere boy, thanks to the Dark Mark fading it was no secret that Voldemort had vanished, that can of worms was long ago opened- not that he would have kept that a secret, however he saw no reason to publicize who had vanquished him, but it got out before he could keep it quiet. He'd have the revived Order Of The Phoenix keep their eyes open, but they had jobs, families, plans of their own, most couldn't search the countryside for a boy, no matter how important.

Neither the resurrected Order Of The Phoenix or Albus himself had managed the tiniest hint of where the boy could be. Something had happened to cripple all of his tracking devices, perhaps whatever had caused the ward to fail. The only saving grace was that Gringotts assured him that the boy was alive. He shuddered to think whose hands he was in, what further suffering the poor boy may be under. Only Remus kept searching full time, and Albus supported him full heartedly, but in the meantime he prayed, stay strong Harry Potter, we need you.

It was a minor miracle- and a subtle compulsion spell that he had hated using, that the wizarding world didn't know he was missing. He hoped it didn't get out, for if it did, it wouldn't only be the light searching...

More over, even if he were to be callous enough, the other boy the prophesy preordained to vanquish the Dark Lord was having problems of his own- namely his Family- and Dumbledore used that term loosely- had traumatized the boy trying to scare magic out of him. It was mere luck, luck of all things that had saved the boy! If Albus hadn't apparated to Longbottom Manor to discuss a piece of legislation he wanted help pushing forward with Regent Longbottom... He swallowed. Let the boy believe that he bounced from magic, let his family such as they are believe it as well, it beat the alternative of an innocent death on his hands- he would floo later, far later, and maybe without the pressure the boy would come into his own magic...

Shaking off the musings of an old man, he grimaced further at the very thought.

Firing Severus had been perhaps the hardest decision he had made that year, he had, after auditing the lessons of all his professors under invisibility spells so complex that it would take a truly talented magician- or a smart muggle with a bag of flour to discover him. What he found was... horrific. Snape taught one thing, how to deal with people like Snape, a valuable lesson indeed, but not at the cost of dangerous potions mishaps by first years that hadn't had a single lesson on potion safety. More over not first years that hadn't been taught even the techniques of preparing ingredients nor indeed anything but "Instructions are on the board". Granted it was after a particularly nice speech- a talented orator- a shame that he didn't explain a single word of how to brew.

After a fierce scolding and warning, it was only a matter of time before Poppy informed Albus of another mishap- and after gaining the memory of the incident, had observed again and put Snape on probation.

A probation he broke almost immediately. He had considered suspending him for a year or ordering him on sabbatical with honeyed words and a hard suggestion to use that time to adjust his lesson plans... but three chances- four if you count the little tattoo on his arm... were too many. There were other jobs the dour man could do, and as much as he wanted the man close by when the next war came, he had to draw the line somewhere. He was, and would again be a part of the order, that would have to do.

Thankfully, Professor Slughorn was Eager and willing to come out of retirement- it turned out that retired life didn't agree with the man but he had been unwilling to pry the position away from Severus.

Sybill Trelawney had cleaned up her act some- a little advice from the man who got her the job had her doing less theatrics and more teaching- though he was seriously considering disbanding the elective again. Drinking on the job, really! Predicting the death of the students, was if anything worse! Luckily, while still a theatric character, she had improved leaps and bounds.

Cuthbert Binns was not so fortunate. For a ghost, he could put even him to sleep, if he didn't have occulmancy. Telling him he was let go was one thing, seeing him slump with relief... had he just been waiting for that? Though seeing the ghost look up and say "Elinore my love... You came... I see. This is goodbye headmaster, thank you for your employment." and seeing the man vanish... it was heart wrenching knowing he couldn't follow, not for a long time to come, not until the war was ended. There was always the half-hope, half-fear that he would die in battle, but he doubted it. He was, if nothing else, a powerful and skilled wizard, even if he at times made poor choices, poorer still for how so few would gainsay him.

Replacing Binns was difficult, made more so by the man himself, few were qualified due to the very man who needed replacing. Sadly, Bathilda Bagshot wouldn't hear about coming out of retirement. Fortunately, portraits and ghosts could teach the class, having memories- implanted or not in the case of portraits of times long forgotten, with a rotation of prefects grading assignments and acting as assistants for extra credit in the subject. Of course, none of them put kids to sleep unless they were exceptionally lazy. Most having not elected not to continue History of Magic in their Newts were for the first time actually learning about the subject instead of sleeping through it. That it kept him from having to pay anyone was a bonus, as even Binns had been paid. Luckily tenure wasn't a thing in the magical world, what a nightmare that had been.

He managed not to show how much the cheering of the students upon hearing about Professor Binns and later Professor Snape leaving to greener pastures had hurt the man. He had been lax indeed.

Defense.. that was a nasty kettle of fish. The curse that refused to be broken. The whole school had been searched by cursebreakers on his knut, and while some had been found and, well, broken- including no fewer than 23 trick stairs that could have sent a student stumbling down the steps to their injury or worse, but one particularly malevolent curse- but not the one he was seeking, who knew that -

But no sign of the curse to the Defense Against The Dark Arts position. So he improvised, he didn't strictly need to know how the curse was subverted so much as it was, so he threw every possible solution at the problem hoping one would stick. Changing the name to Barricades to Harm may have sounded silly, but he was taking no chances that the curse wasn't just targeting one word of it, somehow. It was unlike any magic he had seen, not that he had delved much further into the Dark Arts further than he need to defend against it.

He also moved the classroom, the Professor's office to a whole different part of the castle blocking off that part of the castle, with all new furnishings.

Albus had even removed and destroyed Tom Riddle's Special Award For The Services to The School- not that he had told anyone of the act- the school board- Lucius Malfoy especially may not have cared for such an act.

They were more trouble than the Wizengamot or even The International Confederation of Wizards at halting progress and change- sneaking past the little changes had been tough enough and he had been scolded for it fiercely- of course, Lucius would not care for the populous to be trained to fight.

He really had to do something about that man...

But despite going behind the board member's backs, another Professor had been lost to the curse. Albus for one would never look the same towards golf- who knew it could be such a dangerous game? But then, who could have predicted the professor was feeling the pressure and went to the astronomy tower to club some balls in the direction of The Whomping Willow, and who could have predicted it'd be able to bat a ball that small back at the professor... He'd live at least, but he'd likely never look at a tree the same again, and refused adamantly the possibility of renewing his contract.

Shaking his head he cast a _tempus_ and was tempted to curse, the Wizengamot had met today, and he was due to attend.

Instead he gave a rueful smile to Fawkes. "Time, I think, to start the day anew, or, care to join me this time Fawkes?" With a glare- the bird not liking the sensation one bit, the Phoenix flew out the window, and he sighed again. The loss of his companion's constant presence barring emergencies on one of the two, sometimes more times during which he relived each day to do each job he possessed the justice it deserved were the most wearing thing, he thought, even as he begun spinning an hourglass on a necklace.

Scruffy smiled and clapped as the magician pulled a literal rabbit out of his hat. This wrapped up the best year of his life, as Freaky Freddy did magic. Oh, not real wand waving magic, as far as he knew- and he knew more than a bit he thought of both, but impressive all the same.

Waking up that first night tucked into bed had been... harrowing. He'd half thought that Rosie and the rest of the Sub Rosa wouldn't want him anymore, crying like a baby as he had, though Rosie made no mention of it, so neither did he, and as she didn't seem to look down on him for it, the matter was rather closed in his mind.

Of course, it took a few weeks before he fully settled in, before he knew for sure that this all wasn't some cruel trick or some dying hallucination as he lay dying in a ditch or even in the cupboard in a coma after one of Petunia's swipes with the frying pan.

It wasn't instant and there was no single instance where he realized it was okay here, but it came, and before he knew it he was back at the bridge retrieving his scant precious belongings- even if he had far more back at the house far more precious, there was something different to gifts given and things earned through hard work he thought- both are important, he thought. He still had the balls and Frisbee and had no intention of losing them.

Of course, it was a test. He left a note of course- saying that he'd be back and was going to retrieve some things- he was used to his freedom and solitude even if everyone so far had been great to him, it was different, difficult and vulnerable in a way he had never been before.

Despite his fears, upon his return he was greeted with a hug from Rosie and a slightly worried question if he found everything alright, he... he had his freedom, but.. he also had refuge.

In the weeks leading up to that, and ever since, he had Rosie tutor him for as long as he could pay attention- along with talking with the Sub Rosa- even helping Rosie, and a vampire named Rudolph cook up meals in bulk. He was glad he could contribute, and contribute he did. Scruffy was well experienced in cooking in bulk, as Dudley and Vernon were nearly an army in themselves- and ate nearly as much, though Rosie handled conjuring silverware- which wasn't actually silver because to Scuffy's shock Frankie was a werewolf! Meanwhile Rudolph usually handled turning the completed meals into pills, a modified reversible transfiguration, shrinking spell and preservation spell all in one- something far easier for the vampire- who as it turned out could eat regular meals just fine- though he needed blood or substitutes.

He was a little scared at first, until the Vampire assured the boy that he didn't drink blood not freely offered - and as it turned out some people liked having a vampire drink their blood- Rosie said something about it being the ultimate diet pill whatever that meant. Scruffy just figured it fell under the category of girls being weird.

As for Frankie... Well, he knew Frankie, he was the one that brought him to The Sub Rosa, he brought him home.

He also got to go with Rosie to the farm, which honestly disturbed him a bit. Farms didn't belong underground in vast expanded greenhouses and artificial spelled lighting that mimicked the sun- what if the plants were unhappy at not having wind or rain? Rosie explained that they didn't really have feelings, but he thought plants grew better when you were nicer to them, talking to them and the like... then again, he had been a lonely boy with no friends and no family worth mentioning.

He also learned to navigate "The Way" as The Sub Rosa called it. The Way was, well, it was The Way. It was the primary mode of transport for most of The Sub Rosa, usually unassuming walls that were only visible and not boring to those with the stars for them, that transported you from safe house to safe house in a confusing maze that you practically needed a map for.

He was also given the means to transverse it after he learned his first two spells, _Lumos_ which made his wand glow, and _Nox_ which turned it off. Sure, he couldn't cast around muggles- not until he learned how to do some weird obligation he thought Rosie said, but it was amazing none-the-less.

His reward for learning the two spells had been a tattoo spelled onto wherever he chose- he picked his chest so he could see it- and because Rosie refused to cast it on his butt- hey, he was seven, he was allowed to like the idea of showing his butt to portraits! The tattoo was, according to Rosie that worked with magic somehow- but that didn't help him- he wanted to learn how to make tattoos, they were bloody wicked!

In any case, it started off as two stars representing the grand total of two spells he learned and mastered- though they were currently bronze. If he managed to cast them without speaking the words, they would turn silver, point cast would turn them gold, and if he cast them wandlessly they'd be platinum, sadly he didn't have any silver yet but was up to so many bronze stars that they had merged into one giant one with the number 23, an impressive amount according to Rosie considering he'd only been learning a year, and the fact that he was still young and growing, though it felt so slow.

He also learned his real name- and the reason he shouldn't tell anyone about it. Scruffy didn't mind, he wasn't that hairy anyway, though he absorbed every scrap of information Rosie and the others could give on his parents, as limited as it was. But... He wasn't obsessed with it. He had The Sub Rosa, they were as much family as eccentric as they were as two people he didn't know- that he barely remembered. He loved them, but he had others to fill in the gap their loss caused.

More worrying were how his parents really died and how he was seen as some sort of savior. He wasn't sure how he felt about it, proud of his parents, sad that they had died, angry at the Dursleys for lying- though it's possible they hadn't known.

Of course, he was also angry that a lot of the bad guys got away by lying or bribing people, that and his apparent celebrity meant he was safest as Scruffy.

That meant he had to hide his scar with muggle makeup as the best healer of the Sub Rosa was unable to fix it, the wound contaminated with dark magic whatever that meant.

Even with that, Scruffy had never been happier.


	7. A Magician's Lament

The Scruffy boy sat in his second favorite place in the world, first place taken by his new home. Only it wasn't so new anymore, and it didn't feel much like home right now.

So instead he sat in the orchid of the Lardo the wand-maker, his back against a tree, his mind wandering as he tried working through how such nice people could be so bad, as he rolled a coin across his knuckles once more.

It had been a rather ordinary day, well, ordinary for a Wizard like him. A few hours that morning had been taken up with cooking a massive quantity of flapjacks for turning into 'pills' as he thought of them. A couple hours of that had been spent learning his latest spell, one that fell out of favor and curriculum, but used to be one of the last first year spells taught. The reason why he was learning it disturbed him just as much as the other events of the day.

Alohomora, the thief's friend.

He sighed heavily, the first night at the Sub Rosa so long ago he had been told the ways they could make money off the muggles with magic but he hadn't thought much more of it, not until he'd seen it himself.

The Sub Rosa stole abandoned houses and unclaimed land, victim-less crimes to a degree, he had thought. The houses they took were wrecks that would never sell, to be made into Way Points for The Way, the land could be written off the same. It was still wrong but it wasn't the level of, say, stealing someone's lunch money, something they might need to live if they were particularly poor.

It didn't compare to it seemingly being common practice to steal from muggle businesses the things they couldn't or didn't want to make themselves with magic or buy in the muggle world. Some of the Sub Rosa were better than others, Rosie and Rudolf mostly made money selling food pills to the Sub Rosa, though Scruffy got the impression Rudolf was loaded and doing it to be around Rosie. That they had promised to teach him the spells when his magic matured enough to use it... They were different from the rest, they were family, and they were good people, or at least he thought they were.

Others though... Why couldn't things just have stayed the same?

Even Scruffy could do a repairo, that was enough to make money in the muggle world with minimal effort- if not an absolute fortune. He spent a day at the Sub Rosa's warehouse once in a while since he was using so much of their resources and feeling guilty about it. He knew it was a great business, buying up broken and worn muggle things, and repairing them. Most even found their way back into the muggle world, sold for a huge markup, especially the antiques. It wasn't wrong- heck, it wasn't even particularly illegal, though the Ministry of Magic might not like it if they found out.

Then he just had to go out with Frankie antique hunting at thrift stores. He had usually went with Rosie, but Frankie had taught him the Alohomora spell, and claimed his assistance in payment. That if nothing else taught Scruffy to always get the full details before any deal was struck. He grimaced, remembering how he had been so confused that Frankie wanted to wait until after dark, Frankie masking their presence and with an uncomfortable wrenching and spinning after he had grabbed his arm, we were blocks away. On unsteady legs Scruffy had followed after a near invisible Frankie, and... Frankie told Scruffy to unlock the doors, and walking out with bottomless bag filled with shrunken pilfered goods.

He didn't object then, understanding immediately what was going on and not wanting to stick around too long- knowing Frankie would just do it anyway, but when they got back Frankie had brushed him off when he tried asking if that had been wrong, and had been told if he didn't like it he didn't have to come next time. After that Frankie had just gone to his room to sleep, leaving a very conflicted Scruffy.

More profit didn't justify it, did it? Their insurance should cover it, but Scruffy wasn't sure he trusted those in authority that much, what if the person that decided was like the Dursleys, uncaring of the shop owner's plight besides how it could benefit them?

But what could he do about it?

Even if he had convinced Frankie, he doubted Frankie was the only Sub Rosa to steal, and honestly he wasn't all that much better, there had been a time or two he'd been hungry enough and the dumpsters unkind enough that he'd had little choice if he'd wanted to eat, and well, he hadn't objected- the thought of being able to take anything he wanted... The boy still didn't have that many possessions and he saw this awesome beanbag chair, stitched up on the side inexpertly but still perfectly good, better still after a repairo...

He could return the objects, or return to pay but... then he'd be stealing from the Sub Rosa as he hardly had enough to pay for them all in excess... Why did the Sub Rosa need so much money anyway? He couldn't figure it out.

Scruffy groaned, it all came down to money. Though that was an idea, what if he made enough money that they didn't have to steal? He didn't know how yet- obviously just repairing objects wasn't making enough, and even selling the excess The Farm produced didn't- after all, people were still stealing.

At the very least, he could learn skills so he wouldn't have to steal, already he could repair simple things which was very nearly enough, though transporting them himself would be near impossible without a wheelbarrow.

Still, he could prepare for the future, become the best wizard he could be, and... Well, repairing things wasn't what he considered fun, and he didn't like the idea of cooking non-stop for the rest of his life, but there was another path open to him.

He decided he'd also become the best magician that he could be.

One of the first lessons Scruffy learned from the Sub Rosa was that you can't get something for nothing. It wasn't a lesson in words, not something they directly taught to him, but it gradually dawned on Scruffy.

Oh, sometimes it was subtle what you were giving, sometimes you didn't even know all of what you were receiving. It wasn't always obvious, but you were still giving them, whether it be listening to Old Paul's old war stories when he was a hit wizard to get help with a jinx- interesting enough in small doses only, or help in the kitchen in the case of learning from Rosie and Rudolf, you were always paying something.

Scruffy suspected Rosie would have taught him all the same for some reason, she got affection from him- and she... the prestige of being a muggleborn and having had a hand in raising the boy with the scar? Leaving behind a legacy in the form of a student? That didn't quite fit he felt, but there was something else.

There was also the monetary payment most of the Sub Rosa expected for tutoring on a spell, and occasionally he saw a couple members swapping spells- duplicated pages from their respective books of shadows- with only a brief demonstration of the spell involved, in words too low to be heard and pages too far away to read. Scruffy couldn't wait until he had spells others wanted and didn't have, that looked far easier than studying a book for days and getting a mere handful of spells out of it.

He took good notes for that very purpose, each spell contained within a single lined page in his book of shadows, in a three ringed binder, the pages spelled nigh indestructible by Rosie, easier by far than Rudolf's tome of parchment hand binded with leather straps.

Each page contained only the essential theory, wand moment, visualization and enunciation to cast it.

The now 24 pages of spells looked rather lonesome, and not a single spell was something a typical member of the Sub Rosa would be clamoring to have, nothing that they didn't already long ago learn. He didn't count the miscellaneous theory notes at the back that applied to all magic. For example how astronomy effected some spells making them stronger or weaker at different times and how to figure it out. There was always a best and worst time to cast a spell, though for the most part that could be ignored and cast anyway, you always got extra oomph casting it when the stars were right, though most of his spells were of such low power than no one had quite done the math on most of them- other than Lumos and Nox which were simple- the more stars you could see, typically the more powerful the Lumos, and the less, the easier a nox- but... they were so easy already!

He knew that none of his spells would be anything that Freaky Franky would want in exchange for his tutoring. All were simple spells able to be cast by first years at most, aside from some easier spells still, like the magic push as Rosie called it. A simple gathering of magic into his wand and pushing it out, something anyone could do assuming they had magic and a foci, or were experienced with wandless magic. That was probably his best bet for trading with new members, something of a Sub Rosa calling card.

Luckily, he did have something Freaky Franky wanted... which to his amusement was a protégé. "Most witches and wizards-", Franky explained, "don't give a sh-crap about the art of misdirection and slight of hand, of illusion and sheer stagemanship..." He sighed, "I don't want magic- the true awe and wonder of magic that has people exclaiming 'How? Impossible! Amazing!' to perish. But perish it does, once exposed to wand waving magic, it shrivels within people and dies a sad lonely death within people more easily than had I explained my every illusion to them." The man with wild hair and a slightly manic look about him suddenly stood. "I don't want that to happen! I want to put the magic back into magic, and if you want to help then I will teach you as best I can!" Scruffy hesitantly grinned.

After settling down, though he remained standing, putting up the hood of his robe, he started on his first lesson, which didn't seem to involve magic at all.

"Albert Einstein, perhaps the single greatest Muggle scientist to have ever lived once said 'Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.', and it's depressingly true."

"People are stupid." Franky told Scruffy and he didn't have trouble believing it, though he explained anyway. "It's not the difference between a person and a group of people- though that's true too- a single person can be bright, but people are like a herd of stupid buffalo- they go along with the flow largely, and while they like to all believe they are different, special, they usually aren't."

"People assume, it's nearly hard wired. Someone has a heart attack in the muggle world in a crowd and you'll see that only nurses, doctors and the like are liable to paying them any mind- they might watch, gasp, try to ignore it and walk away or simply gawk at it- but unless ordered to none do the logical thing of calling for an ambulance. Why? Because they are under a spell? Rendered stupid at the brush with death? No! Because they assume it's someone else's job until told otherwise if it happens around other people, and aren't enough an individual to do otherwise."

"Most people don't question it, don't try to understand it, but it's not their fault. We're just wired that way, and it's a good thing for a magician, though a poor thing indeed for society."

"Most people are animals at heart, a loud noise draws their ear, fast movement attracts their eye, both very good things for survival, bad for deciphering an illusion."

"We are hardwired for these things from way back when we hunted and gathered our food, where surviving the present was all that mattered. From before the first word was spoken, and we merely had to survive. It's just the way we are born, and that is just one way we magicians are even possible, because we can not afford to be ignorant. Luckily, one can learn to be better, to take in more details and recall them later, to puzzle out occurrences, to figure out how it's done and replicate it, even improve it."

"I introduce to you, the art of misdirection!" Franky shouted, and spun on his heels, facing the balcony window as if he were about to jump out, arms up. Scruffy was impressed with the speech but hadn't had time to internalize it. That's why when Franky's freaky cuckoo clock went off Scruffy's head turned towards it just for an instant. When turned back he saw to his astonishment the hooded robe slowly collapse in on itself into a puddle of cloth on the floor, the magician nowhere in sight.

He ran to the window but of Franky there was no sign, nor, looking about he saw him no where in the room, no furniture nearby, no trapdoor on the ground... he was just gone, nothing but a cricket's chirping!

Examining the robes bought him no clues, save for a muggle book on improving one's memory.


	8. The Illusion Of Free Will

Scruffy had thought that no one cared about him going to school, muggle or magical.

He was learning more and better without it, after all. He was not only a pretty good wizard, but a magician as well. Aside from that he had all the practical skills he needed- he could cook better than ever before, tips from a couple expert chefs really made a difference- he could probably work at any restaurant he wanted!

Even before he had been inducted into the Sub Rosa he could clean with more attention to detail and perfectionism than most housewives could obtain- the threat of no food if he missed the smallest of spots was cruel but rather effective.

Additionally Scruffy was able to repair anything that didn't have electricity and sell it back for a profit, and he was getting pretty good at spotting antiques for bargains at thrift stores, though unlike some people, he paid for them. Even so- he could easily edge out a living at that if all else fell through.

He thought he was getting pretty good with his muggle magic as he thought of it- the few times a month he went out and about on the streets preforming magic tricks he ended up with enough for that days meals and then some.

As to what he'd learn in some muggle school... Reading was more than covered. He had to read to learn magic most of the time anyway- the only bits that were verbal were what he didn't understand, and of course showing the spell- it's always better to hear how it's pronounced since wizards didn't have pronouncification guidelines in their books or books of shadows- he ended up getting a Latin to English dictionary from the muggle world and figuring out how to put them in himself.

That's to say nothing of the things he read in the public library. Getting a library card only required confounding the librarian into getting him a card despite having no legal guardians, or the books he bought himself

Writing, well he had to write down his spells in his book of shadows, not to mention his modifications of recipes he tried.

Maths, Merlin, maths was half of spell casting theory! It was a pain in the arse, but he knew his maths- not only from magic but from the other magic as well! Card counting, mathmagician tricks and their like involved more than a bit of math, to say nothing of buying and selling furniture and doing some limited accounting.

Geography? He'd _been_ to more places than most could point out on a map, though he may have traveled The Way he'd been to a dozen countries on four continents!

Science surprisingly had been taught to him by Freaky Franky- the scientific method and a few experiments later had revealed why- more than a few of Freaky Franky's illisions depended on science! From the chemistry of smoke pellets to puzzling out and testing hypothesis on how other magician's achieved their feats to the very makeup of the universe helping him visualize magic for greatly improved wizardry.

As to wizarding magic, he estimated he was nearly a fifth year- and that only because his core wasn't quite yet big enough for some of the spells of sixth and seventh year! The more magic you did, the more you worked that magical muscle the stronger you got, so he wouldn't even have to wait until he was older for it.

That all on top of the improved memory from the muggle book- who would have thought the best way to improve memory would be found by the muggles? From Mnemonics in their various forms to a full blown mind palace, remembering what he had learned was no trouble.

So really, he thought school would be pointless and that no one in a somewhat dubious organization like the Sub Rosa would push him towards.

But he'd been wrong, curse the owl bringing his Hogwarts letter on one of the rare occasions all of his friends... No, his _family_ was sitting down together for a meal, on this, his 11th birthday.

He had snorted reading it- if he had still been at the Dursleys like this school probably thought he was, then it'd be a confusing and useless letter with no method to reply, the owl having slipped it into the muggle post if it had been an owl at all!

"Hey Rosie, mind if I borrow Chuckles? Gotta tell these people I'm happy where I am." Scruffy still thought it was a rather silly name for an owl, though he couldn't deny that it's hoots sounded like it was laughing at him.

Rosie didn't respond with a simple yes to his disappointment, instead telling Scruffy "Sure, you can borrow my owl to tell em you're going."

"I'm not-"

"It's a golden opportunity Scruffy! One you should feel blessed to have, you can make friends your own age-" The only other person under 20 at the table didn't look up from her oatmeal pudding, though Scruffy half-snarled at Rosie- the only thing they really disagreed with was his friendship with Luna, at least until _this_. "and be a kid for once. Really, when was the last time you played with a toy- not for a magic trick or magic practice but for fun?" He had started to answer but became unable to, frowning, not liking where this was going.

"Not only that kid, the Hogwarts Library is said to be the largest- not true but it's certainly worth looking through, who knows, you might be able to trade for that _fiendfyre_ spell you've been wanting, or perhaps it's in their restricted section?" Rudolf the brown-nosed-vampire tempted.

"If you don't go, they'll probably hunt you down and force you to. I know you hate it, but you are famous over there..." Xenophilius said, and at that Scruffy slumped in his chair more. It was true, a pox on all reporters for making him famous in the first place for something his parents had probably done.

"Eh, just go and learn what you want, do whatever you want, if you get expelled it won't matter- just buy a new wand in Diagon first, so they don't break yours." Gee, thanks Lardo.

Scruffy sighed, so much for having independence, when everyone was pushing him towards it, the only one that was silent was a preoccupied Luna and Freaky Franky.

Speaking of the devil, Luna asked "Don't you think it will be fun? If you're not going, I won't either." He groaned, if it were up to Luna she'd leave humanity and live among the animal of the week that had caught her imagination, most of which he was _pretty_ sure didn't exist.

When both Luna _and_ Frankie are both making sense, something is horribly wrong with the world.

Speaking of Frankie's, Freaky Franky was still silent, and Scruffy half-glared at him "Well? Aren't you going to tell me I should go too?"

"Nah, if you don't want to go screw em. I think it's worth going- you can always leave if it's not for you, but it's your life, your choice. Not anyone else's choice, yours." He said pointing a sausage on a fork at them, and Scruffy managed a smile as the argument started. Freaky Franky was not giving an inch in his stance, indeed not saying another word as Scruffy snuck off to think about it, their vitriol and attention focused on Freaky Franky.

At least _someone_ was on his side, though he'd never had such a dour feeling on a birthday since he lived with the Dursleys.

He didn't take The Way to The Orchard as much as he wanted to- while it was frowned upon except in emergencies you _could_ ask the eyes only portraits where someone went and when, though only if you had more stars than them, and the only person that might be looking for him with _less_ stars in the Sub Rosa was Luna.

Instead he went to "his" bridge- really, it was just a small overpass by some hilly grounds that had sadly been leveled and an apartment building set in it's place.

Thankfully, it was unoccupied as he sat down in it, and for old times sake he dug out a knut from his pocket and set to moving it about his knuckles, though if it turned from a knut into a nickel, to a sickle and more, well, it was just good practice.

He really didn't want to go to Hogwarts, but... he was looking at the alternative now and he didn't like it. Oh, Scruffy knew that he could do better- he could build a house from scratch in the middle of the woods or ward and fix up a wreck or _something,_ though getting it electricity and plumbing first might take a few _confundos_ to get them to ignore his age but he'd have to do that anyway if he didn't want to pay- and... well, he _couldn't_ pay, not really, not being eleven. He frowned, times like this he wished he had a wizarding tent or something. He'd been putting most of his money into the Sub Rosa, but perhaps it was time to dig into his savings? Most wasn't _all_ after all.

Really, he'd have to dig into his savings one way or another- all these books and supplies wouldn't come cheap.

Either way it felt like he would be losing touch with the Sub Rosa, but then again, he'd always been the odd one out, being the youngest- well not counting a few of the Sub Rosa with adult children and a few people with toddlers that were too young to really consider friends.

Scruffy frowned, really, that was the worst bit of it- Luna. She was his first friend near his age- but if he went to Hogwarts, he'd be gone for most of the year- and even when she went, they'd be a year apart, and what if they were in different houses as well?

Worse still was not going for Luna... She said she wouldn't go if he didn't and... Well, Xeno would do anything for 'his Moonbeam', if she didn't want to go, she wouldn't. She wasn't like him- well, of course not, she was a girl, and besides that a cryptozoologist if you were being polite about it- but more, he knew she didn't have many friends- her best friend Ginevra had been on the outs with her since Luna's Mother died and Luna withdrew into herself. Scruffy knew he wasn't enough for anyone, much less since he spent so much time studying and practicing.

Harry Potter was going to Hogwarts, but not without conditions.

* * *

"Albus, there's a letter that needs your attention." Minerva said with thinned lips.

Albus smiled briefly- it had taken ages but he finally got at least his staff at Hogwarts to call him by his first name, as he said "Thank you Minerva, is there anything else?" grabbing it.

"No, that should be the last of the first years taken care of- though now that you mention it, I do need to pick up some supplies for second years, those Weasley twins..." She muttered, really seeming out of it.

"I'll take care of this then, no need to add to your work load." Albus said with a smile from one Transfiguration professor to another. He felt like he had much more energy these days, so it really was no huge burden.

Reading the letter however left the man with too many titles frowning.

Normally, Albus was against any sort of special treatment of any kind for students, at least _these_ days, after his epiphany that he was going about things the wrong way. He tried to be equal and fair- though he still didn't interact with students as much as he wished, though more than he had before, filling in for teachers when they were out occasionally.

For once, he found he had little choice. Oh, he had, as soon as the letter got written, apparated straight to Harry's house to asess the situation and rescue the boy if he needed it, but he had been under such powerful wards that such a thing would weaken him- by the time he got through he found it likely that he could be over powered by a kitten.

Still, no spell is foolproof, no magic utterly invincible no matter what it seemed at times, _Homenum Revelio_ had worked- and showed Harry's lifesign amongst others, strong and hale, vaguely recognizable as it was, the differences between a baby's aura and an ... an adults? Albus felt chills remembering it, Harry was nearly as powerful as Tom had been at that age.

As he seemed safe, as much as he wanted to tear down the wards and snatch him away, he instead apparated to Hogwart's gates, needing the walk to think things through.

Albus was now well aware how overblown his legend had become and how badly it had affected his choices and actions. If you hear how great you are so many times, have so many people coming to you for advice and taking your word as law... it gets to you.

But this... Even the old Albus Dumbledore would have hesitated to tear a family apart, or worse... The snake like monster young Tom Marvolo Riddle had become flashed into his mind, what if he is the catalyst to turn another into a dark lord?

How much of Voldemort is his fault he did not know, though he knew undoubtedly he had erred, setting fire to a boy's possessions- illusionary fire or not... Threatening an orphan's possessions, pilfered though some of them may be was one thing, but sending him back to the orphanage in the midst of WW2 was worse, while staying at Hogwarts was impossible, he could have done more for the lad. As horrible as it was, he had deep down hoped that a bomb would take out the boy before he became what Albus had feared.

In any case, forcing Harry to go to Hogwarts, to leave his family... It wasn't the right way to go about things.

He reached his office and Fawkes sung a few uplifting notes.

Shaking off his reminiscing, Albus sighed, "I suppose it is a small exception to be made, nothing, I believe, that the founders would have disliked." Albus snorted "At least in this he is not like Tom, he would never demand a friend be allowed to attend Hogwarts with him." Fawkes chirped happily.

Hogwarts wasn't perfect, but it was a far cry from the past, and Harry would get an education second to none here, Albus thought, and he'd need it.

Sadly the stress of the Weasley Twins in their most hyperactive years had taken a toll on Professor Slughorn, and he was once again retired, this time apparently for good. In any case, he had gotten what he needed most from the man, sadly it hadn't been nearly long enough for him to adequately teach a replacement, not into mastery.

He had hoped Severus had gotten over his hatred of all things Potter, or at the very least matured a little. Now however, he thought that his abrasive nature may be needed, it wouldn't do after all, to have a savior with an inflated head, just look what had happened to him.

Had he known just what headaches young Harry would give him, he'd have never done it of course. Still, best send someone to help the boy, and protect him, and there was no better person in Albus's mind than one of the most loyal and caring men he knew. As sent Fawkes to fetch Rubeus Hagrid he felt a chill go down his spine, a chill he associated with The Marauders and The Weasley Twin Terrors.

Albus hummed in thought, the Weasleys... That was an idea, Molly could help guide Harry to the platform, perhaps her Son could befriend Harry? Merlin knows that if anyone deserves a loving Mother figure and all the friends he could get, it was poor Harry... The chill returned stronger than ever, but a little mischief never hurt anyone.


	9. Twisted History

AN: A quote from J.K Rowling's Harry Potter books is in this one, and probably will be peppered throughout the rest of the fic.

One of the few hold overs from the Dursleys showed itself the day after Scruffy's birthday as he woke bright and early at 6AM. He quickly made himself some breakfast, throwing down a pill a bowl of beans, potatoes, sausages, mushrooms onions and bits of fried tomatoes with fried bread on the side, an English breakfast in a bowl as Rosie called it, along with a glass of milk, figuring on needing the energy for a full day in Diagon Alley getting his supplies.

Scruffy wished that he could just take the books from the Sub Rosa library, having no desire to have his own copy of books he'd long surpassed- there were better reference books, not least of which included his book of shadows.

He was just complementing simply not getting them and seeing what happened when the sound of a cannon going off sounded over and over.

The front door as heavily warded as it was didn't break down, but it felt like a near thing as Scruffy stood crouching with his wand in hand, table over turned in an instant, a pang of remorse for his lost breakfast, it was the floor's breakfast now.

Rosie, the spiked haired punkette and Frankie the overgrown poodle ran down the stairs, evidently the rest of the Sub Rosa were at other Way Points or even the near mythical "home", or simply out, and Rudolf the Vampire was probably dead to the world.

Rosie flung open the door even as Frankie had a wand trained on the door way- just opening the door wouldn't be enough to stop the wards working but it was better taking chances, Scruffy thought, even as he prepared a disarming charm in his left hand, having gotten his first platinum star for his first wandless spell, even as he prepared to stun with his wand.

It wasn't needed. The giant man looked confused for a moment knocking on empty air, before saying "Ello! And you mus' be Arry'. Ya look just like your da' with your Mum's eyes."

"You knew them?" Trying to withhold his annoyance with being called not even Harry but some mangled version of it Scruffy couldn't help but ask.

"Aye, 'aven't seen you since you 'ere a babe, carried you out of the wreck meself, tragic what 'appened"

"Er, and who in Merlin are you?" An annoyed Scruffy said, he just lost his breakfast to this man, for it appeared, nothing.

"I'm Hagrid, Keeper of Keys and Grounds at 'Ogwarts. You know all about Hogwarts?" Hagrid asked.

"I do... Why are you _here_ though?"

"I'm ere to take you shoppin' for yer supplies o' course."

Scruffy frowned, why would they send someone? He didn't need any help, he'd been to Diagon Alley on his own more than a few times and hated being treated like a toddler, more over if he needed help he could ask someone. His frown deepened transforming into a scowl as he worked what the man, Hagrid, had said before, and further why they'd think he'd need someone "You... You or someone from Hogwarts were the ones that left me at the Dursley's..." It made sense- the most logical thing to assume was that he had been left with witches and wizards, not muggles of all people, no matter the relation.

"I took ya there, Dumbledore said it was safest-" Dumbledore of all people was the one that sentenced him to hell was astounding and horrifying, what had he signed up for? As soon as the man said he had been safe at the Dursleys he lost it.

"Safest? Safest! If that was safe, I'd hate to think what that senile old _fool_ thinks is dangerous!" Scruffy sneered, the temptation to curse the giant man increasing every second.

"NEVER -" he thundered "- INSULT -ALBUS -DUMBLEDORE - IN - FRONT - OF - ME!" taking a step with each word, struggling through the wards, brandishing a pink umbrella as if it were a sword. Scruffy quickly disarmed the monster of a man with a thrust of a hand, the wards sending it flying. The stunning spell that followed distracted Hagrid for a second if nothing else. Hagrid already had seemed rather pole axed at the wandless magic, so it was enough. The wards snapped back, pushing Hagrid out even as he tried to keep his footing before struggling against the door frame, when Rosie finally got her wits about her. The massive magical push from Rosie nearly sent him flying aided by the wards finally pushing him all the way out, another spell from Scruffy slamming the door in his face.

"E'll, that was one hell of a wakeup call, save some for me next time, eh?" Frankie snorted "Overreacting a bit if you ask me..."

Despite the situation Scruffy couldn't help but laugh as Frankie was once again turned into a donkey.

"Are you okay... You.. it must have been bad huh?" Rosie asked pulling Scruffy into a hug, he didn't need it, he was shaking from the adrenalin crash and... They had put too many onions in his English breakfast stew, that was all.

* * *

After trying for breakfast again, it went much better this time, with no interruptions, and it was only a couple hours later that Luna came through The Way and they started walking.

It was nearly two blocks away that Scruffy deemed it safe enough to, after looking for muggles and finding none putting his wand up, a Lumos lighting the tip.

With a bang a massive double decker bus stopped on a dime in front of them. Scruffy grimaced, but it was the safest way, everyone knew the Ministry logged Floo travel- there was a reason The Way existed and not just because there were wards that could be put up to stop it.

"Welcome to the Knightbus transport- Ey it's Scruffy! Wake up Ern, Scruffy's here and

'e has a girlfriend!" the shrunken head yelled from it's place tied on the rear view mirror, the old man managing to wake up and peer towards them with a squint.

"Been ages, would have thought ya didn't like the ride." Ernest wheezed out.

"Swore never to return, he did, after that poor gal spilled her hot chocolate on is, lap mon'" the shrunken head said.

Scruffy grimaced at the memory, but tried grinning through it. "It's certainly a bit much, but it's not everyday I have to go to Diagon Alley." At this his grin went away- "What is it Scruffy?"

"S'nothing, just had a bad morning, so two to Diagon, please" He was hardly going to say that the idea of shopping with a girl filled him with an instinctive dread, not in front of her at least.

"Right- right, and off we go!"

The bus shot forward like a bullet with a bang, and Scruffy was forced to pay while prone on a bed trying for dear life to hold on to a rail, even as a Luna shot past on her cot yelling "Whee!", the crash sounded rather like it had hurt.

* * *

A quick glance in the window of a shop assured Scruffy his make-up on his scar was holding, and they quickly moved through the dusty disgusting Leaky Cauldron, before Scruffy exchanged some muggle money for wizarding by the surly goblins before going down to Luna's trust vault- not that she needed it but Scruffy loved the cart rides far more than the Knight Bus and Daddy told her relationships were all about compromise.

Scruffy reluctantly trailed behind Luna on the dubious pleasure that is shopping with a girl, who flitted and fluttered shop to shop, aisle to aisle like a crack-head digging through the couch cushions for change.

Scruffy hadn't liked the look or idea of a trunk left vulnerable all day- and thinking about it, Luna had a bad feeling about the same, so Scruffy took advantage of having to spend part of his savings anyway to finally purchase himself a bottomless bag, Luna picked one in pink after being told that no, they don't have any made out of Snorlax hide.

Scruffy was torn between amusement and confusion, never entirely sure which of Luna's creatures the girl even believed in, and which ones she just made up to confuse people. A year ago he had to add the category of which were real, after the time she explained about the duck-billed-platypus she had seen and had managed proof in moving wizarding pictures when he didn't believe her.

Scruffy reluctantly trailed behind Luna into the robe shop, which was half occupied by a blond boy, with only one seamstress available Scruffy offered Luna to go first but she shook her head. "I want to look at the fabrics, go ahead" Scruffy couldn't help but sigh, having already known this stop was going to be one of the longest and worst. Luna may have been pretty cool for a girl, but she _was_ still a girl.

"Hogwarts too?" A pointy nosed boy with platinum hair slicked back asked, even as the seamstresses measured them.

"Sadly, yes." Even with finding out at least Hagrid had helped place him at the Dursleys, his reasons going hadn't changed.

Surprisingly the boy chuckled despite having asked "I was hoping for Durmstrang myself but Mother refused to have me so far away."

Scruffy hummed at that, Durmstrang probably would have been better than a place with people that condemned him to- no, don't think of it, Scruffy thought.

"Your parents were the right kind- like us, right?"

Ah, the other boot drops, Scruffy thought, before getting an idea. The snob looks almost like an albino, and Scruffy knew his hair fit his namesake even more, it was a Scruffy mess, the added length had not in fact helped tame it...

Hiding a smirk, Scruffy nodding, agreeing "Yes, they were a vampire and a werewolf, if that's what you mean."

"No I mean... Werewolf! Where?" The blonde boy looked about as if one could be hiding in a corner waiting to pounce.

"Calm down, I know things have been tense between us and vampires but I promise I won't bite if you don't. Bloody vampires, so high strung..." Scruffy shook his head.

"You..." Malfoy seemed ready to bolt while the two seamstresses were trying rather unsuccessfully to fully hide their giggles. "Hey! I'm not a vampire!"

"Oh. Are you _sure?"_ Scruffy asked skeptically, peering at him.

"Yes I'm sure you flea-ridden mutt! Ow!" The seamstress attending him had accidentally impaled the pale boy with a needle in the process of trying not to choke or laugh.

"You incompetent- though why I should be surprised with your sub-par skills when you let in riff-raft like this beast-" he waved at me "in here it's no wonder! I knew I should have gone to Twilfitt and Tatting's!" The boy stormed off, pins still in his robes, a seamstress rushing after him to retrieve them.

"Sorry about that, but he rubbed me the wrong way... So about these robes, any chance I can get some additions? A pocket or a dozen wouldn't go amiss..." "Twelve?" the Seamstress asked, surprised.

"You're right, better make it an even two-dozen pockets, can never have enough pockets, inside the sleeves, on the inside here and here-" His custom work probably covered the costs of whatever the albino would have spent, which made him feel better but in truth half of muggle magic was preparation like this.

* * *

"Aren't you getting the books for er second ... fifth year?" The shopkeeper asked trying to place Scruffy's age, looking through the stack of books Scruffy had chosen and back at Scruffy in confusion, Luna having gone before.

"Nah, already read em." Scruffy decided buying books whose important information was already crammed in his book of shadows was just a waste of money.

"Well... the customer's always right... Good luck with that."

* * *

"and it's brother's- why it gave you... where's your scar?"

"What scar?" He was already annoyed, the shopkeeper having guessed at his identity and worse yet, having to get another wand. Worse yet, a wand that felt a bit dirty, and now he finds it's connected to that madman- but Frankie had a point- if he got expelled, better they break a wand he didn't care as much about.

"Well, how much is it, and I'll be needing a holster- best you've got." Why they didn't include holsters blew his mind, honestly, a wand is like a wizard's arm or leg, you've got to keep it with you.

Luna was content making shapes out of trails of sparks, drawing in the air with her unicorn tail feather and cherry wand.

"So, this is why Xeno said he was busy." Scruffy muttered as one of the shapes of sparks let out a loud roar not fitting the small bunny like creature made of wand sparks, even as Ollivander chased it out of the shop.


	10. All Sorted Out

"I assure you Lucius, there is no Werewolf coming to Hogwarts this year- however if one _were_ to come, not only would they be forced to transform off the grounds, but would be given Wolfsbane, unless you are accusing our potion's master of not being up to the task?" Albus asked the man he saw as the greatest obstacle to peace and prosperity of England, second only to Tom.

"No... But I warn you now Dumbledore, I will protect my Son even if I have to get a beast put down to do it-" The room absolutely filled with the suffocating _weight_ of magic that flooded the room, the scent of ozone heavy and Lucius Malfoy swallowed as he felt the crushing sheer destructive capability surround him... Then more terrifying than _that-_ more terrifying than _knowing_ Dumbledore could have crushed him like a bug with the merest thought... Dumbledore mastered himself and his magic in an _instant._ The control needed for such a thing was terrifying, not only magically, but mentally.

"I trust I need say no more what comes from threatening students in my care?" Albus asked with a smile as false as Lucius's claims of nobility. "I also trust that you can speculate just what will happen to you should you ever actually follow through with such a thing. Why, it would be worse than whatever the one that gave you your little tattoo would ever do to you I imagine. After all... There are far worse things than a few days suffering under a rather uncreative curse before a _merciful_ death."

Two stiff nods came from the man with sweat beading down his face, his fingers bone white on the cane concealing his wand. Lucius left shaking and reevaluating just who he angered.

Albus sighed as the Floo emptied, bad things came in threes- first he found Harry, but behind powerful wards he didn't dare to break for fear of what could await behind them- for fear of weakening himself before a potential battle... or worse, causing Harry to fear him like Tom had.

Next Hagrid came back absolutely stinking drunk- though thankfully _with_ the stone, even as his plan to reconnect an old Potter family friend with it's last surviving member had failed.

Albus grimaced at the necessity of hiding the stone _here_ , but there were some very good reasons for it. For starters, someone tried a few times to steal it- this wasn't rare, but they got closer than most. More importantly was just who was trying to steal it- suspicions were hardly enough- and if it was who he suspected... Perhaps he could finally figure out how Tom eluded death...

That on it's own may have been enough for the old Albus, but he liked to think of himself as a better man, and it would take a lot more than that to imperil students under his care.

Sadly that came about, as Nicholas came as close to begging as the old man could, and Albus owed the man more than enough to accept it. He certainly didn't like it to be sure, he was the first to admit Hogwarts wards were effective... against armies. Against a single person, a former student besides? Not all that much.

If it were up to him he'd simply destroy the dark lord magnet, but murdering his friends and mentor, and the closest thing to a Father figure the man had left... That wasn't something he was prepared to even contemplate.

Finally, _this_ situation with Harry... He hoped the boy wasn't a werewolf, it would complicate things a great deal.

Hopefully, the string of bad luck was over and done with him, and the light's luck would improve. He dearly hoped his self imposed job of ridding the Wizarding World of evil would be successful and it'd be _over_ , peace forever more, and he would be allowed to _rest_. Albus laughed hollowly, when was the fight against ever done?

Still, as he stood up and stretched he noted the ache in his back he'd had for nigh on thirty years was gone, and if there was one thing Albus Dumbledore had learned in his long life was that you had to appreciate the small things in life.

* * *

"Who cares about the Boy-Who-Lived, I heard the strangest rumor that a Werewolf is coming to Hogwarts!"

"That's nothing I heard that a Malfoy is coming to Hogwarts and he's a vampire!"

Scruffy grinned as he overheard the chatter, even as he and Luna stepped into a compartment of the scarlet train.

From within their compartment, Luna and Scruffy were fighting, at least as much as they ever did.

"Luna, for the last time, cartoons aren't real-"

"Alternative realities are postulated to exist, didn't you read that edition of Magic Monthly?"

"You know I did but-"

"No buts, it's entirely possible- anything is possible with magic you know."

Scruffy sighed, "Fine, I admit it, maybe in another dimension there might be a race of sentient magical ponies. If you ever find it, you'll tell me right?"

"I'm not letting you commit genocide on magical ponies."

"I just can't win with you, can I?"

The compartment door suddenly opened and a snooty blond trailed by two trollish looking boys looked in menacing even as the boy began to speak Scruffy spoke over him.

"Oh, you're that vampire that was in the robe shop-" " Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions" Luna chimed in helpfully. "Yeah, that, how's it going Sunshine?" Scruffy asked.

The boy sneered, though looked rather nervous "Well, I _had_ heard Harry Potter was on the train but clearly Potter isn't _here._ As if the so called Boy-Who-Lived would be seen with a dark creature. This place is going to the dogs." He turned up his nose and left rather hurriedly, the two body guards looked at each other rather confused, but that seemingly was their normal state, with a shrug they followed after Slick.

"Sunshine, Scruffy?" Luna asked.

He shrugged "He never told me his name, it fits though."

* * *

"Pardon me, have either of you seen a toad- I... I'll just come back later shall I?" The bushy haired blushing girl slammed the compartment door shut and took off like a rocket.

Scruffy looked at Luna confused, wasn't knocking a thing in the magical world proper? First the vampire, now this...

"She must have a wrackspurt infestation." Luna said in a tone that implied it was obvious.

Why did he look to Luna for explanations, Scruffy wondered as he finished getting dressed.

It wouldn't be the first time he and Luna had to get dressed together, and he doubted it'd be the last, though he wished it didn't take so much convincing for Luna to put back _on_ clothes.

He didn't even peek, much- and that was mostly just to jealously look at Luna's stars. Not only did she have more than _he_ had the first year he'd been a member of Sub Rosa, fully half were in silver, meaning mastered silently- it took him three years to get familiar enough with some of his spells to do them silently.

Worse than that, she'd _somehow_ convinced Rosie to put it on her butt, it just wasn't fair.

* * *

"-your house will be something like your family-" Scruffy hoped not, if they were like the Dursley's the school would _burn_ , and if they were like the Sub Rosa... He grimaced, a bunch of criminals with goals he _still_ didn't know, though he was beginning to suspect it was something _big._ That was perhaps the best part of coming here, getting away from complicated plots and schemes.

, "-houses are called Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Slytherin." Really, Scruffy didn't understand this dividing people up based on personality. Merlin knew he was a far different person than he had been at five than he was now, and he had no doubt he'd be different still in five more.

"-your triumphs will earn your house points, while any rule-breaking will lose house points. At the end of the year, the house with the most points is awarded the House Cup-" Scruffy fully tuned out that. As a magician you had to learn more than ordinary people- if you were only as smart as your audience you couldn't fool anyone after all. One of those things was a bit of psychology- and this stunk to high heaven- points that only get you a house cup- bragging rights for a Summer and change at most... and also acted as a deterrent to trouble making- let's give the kids something they want so we can take it away- and if that doesn't deter bad behavior, why, their peers will punish them- er, pressure them that is to do better.

"Hogwarts, where the points are made up and don't matter." Scruffy muttered. A sharp glance from the old woman that didn't bother Scruffy a bit, and the speech _finally_ ended.

* * *

An all too smug Luna was waving him over into a space she had reserved for a disgruntled Scruffy.

She had told him there was no escaping it, that it was as inevitable as the Sun rising or the Crumple-Horned Snorkack howling at sunset- but he hadn't believe her- it didn't help her case that he was sure she had no more idea than him if Snorkack's howled at all- much less at sunset, or indeed if Snorkack's existed at all.

He hadn't _wanted_ to believe it, thought that he could fool whoever or whatever decided where he was sent. He had some of the best occulmancy barriers period- a fully realized mind palace wasn't anything to sneer at... But it had all been for naught.

The accursed hat had laughed at his defense, he was a hat and therefore didn't think like or do magic like a _person._

'Perhaps, instead of a mind palace, he should have tried for a false mind?' Scruffy wondered, too late in any case.

Instead, here he was, in the worst possible house in the school, one that condemned him to a fate worse than death.

Having to wear _yellow._

* * *

The feast wasn't anything special- oh, there was a lot of food... but honestly Scruffy felt he could cook better than this, the British aversion to spices despite having conquered half the world in search of them was most prevalent. Merlin, he'd say it was worse if anything the magicals were a bit behind the times.

"Boarding school food, huh?" Scruffy muttered, gaining incredulous looks even as he was hounded with questions he gamely ignored pointing at his chewing mouth.

* * *

"-and finally, if you do not wish to die a most painful death, I recommend a healthy diet and regular exercise- yes Minerva? Oh right, and avoid the third floor corridor, though the _age-line_ should be effective at keeping the unspeakable horrors from entering- er from escaping that is." Albus said with a brief glance to the Gryffindor table only belatedly realizing that Harry Potter wasn't there, very carefully not looking at the suspiciously turbaned Defense Professor, and gamely ignoring Minerva's glare.

Fred Weasley was grinning widely as he turned to his twin "Did he just call us unspeakable horrors?" A speechless George merely nodded.

"If the shoe fits." Ron Weasley muttered darkly, none too fond of the brothers that transfigured his teddy bear into a spider.

* * *

Omake:

"You think I might have lice hm? That's not very nice, though it _is_ brave of you to say such to the being set to decide your very fate..." the sentient piece of clothing muttered.

"Listen to me you overgrown rag, if you sort me in Gryffindor you'll feel fiendfyre, briefly." Scruffy thought furiously at the hat.

"You don't know fiendfyre."

"Yet. I'm willing to work hard to get what I want as you well should know."

"Ahem, I see, better be Slytherin!"

The two twins that had jumped onto to table fell off it in an undignified heap, one of them muttering "We didn't get Potter?"

"Things like this never happened at my old school... Then again, at least Carlos isn't here making bad jokes." Hermione muttered, having thought Harry had looked nice, she wished they were in the same house... She blushed.

"At least Harry Potter won't get fat." a loud voice sounded from the middle of the table.

No, it couldn't be, Hermione thought. She had changed her name, had moved to another country to get away from the insanity of her old school. Carlos couldn't possibly have found her here.

"After all, snakes have their own scales!"

"Carlos!" Hermione Granger groaned out.


	11. Prince Charming

Severus had, for the first time been fully enjoying his life, he mused over a much needed glass of whiskey, so of course the fates had conspired against him to ruin it for him.

Oh, his life had started off bad and gotten worse- he winced at the memories, of the good times that made the bad times seem all the much worse.

But though he had survived, he had not thrived, not truly, at least not until Dumbledore mercifully grew a spine and finally took note of his rather desperate attempts at escaping the contract keeping at the place where some of his worst memories lay.

The day he was released from the contract that bound him to Hogwarts was the day he truly started living.

It had been rather hard at first. At Hogwarts he was kept far too busy to dwell on the past- or so he told himself, and the Summers, why, those were the most busy of all, a years worth of potions experiments thought up throughout the school year conducted in a fury that would leave lesser men nervous wrecks from overwork!

It was only when he was released from obligations and had the blessing and curse of free time, not in a frantic pace to get all experiments done was when he finally and fully grieved.

For his parents whose love he never could claim. Well, his Mother at least. The man could rot, he was no Father of his.

He rather liked his new name. He had thought to never take it up- not when they had abandoned him and his Mother to a life of poverty for the crime of her loving a Muggle... but it beat being named for the man who condemned him and his Mother to a life of pain and terror, marginally.

He may have been a bit bitter about it still, truthfully. Just a bit, he smirked, it feeling rather hollow.

For his torment at the hands of Muggle bullies mocking his over-sized and mismatched clothes, crooked nose and pasty complexion and at Hogwarts for much of the same.

For the staff ignoring him as another Slytherin for standing against malicious bullies.

For Lily. He took another drink of his much needed whiskey. Steam threatened to ignite and come forth from his mouth, and he forced down the urge with a willpower that would make lesser men vomit quite literally as the steam billowed out his nose with his calm exhale.

It always lead back to Lily.

His first and only true friend.

Well, she had been.

He leaned in his chair as if beseeching the heavens why, thinking that the stone ceiling was surprisingly filthy with soot, and the amusement as he decided that to be his next detention assigned.

It only took half a year to have what some might consider a breakdown, and only a month for his sale of a somewhat repaired house at Spinner's End to go through.

After all, waiting about would do no good and he knew that there was no good to come from staying where he bore the mark of the Dark Lord that people still feared to the point of speaking not his name...

He hadn't looked back. He also didn't stay at any place too long, repeatedly justified fear of rumors of his past spreading and wrecking everything again, once was rather enough.

A private person at heart, he found he rather enjoyed it.

At least until the rumors changed and caught up to him a dozen countries and three continents later.

He hadn't been just taking in the sights, but learning from the best libraries private and public, from schools and bank vaults. He begged, conned, and in one case traded a mango for access to these, the most valuable thing that remained to the man, knowledge.

Severus hadn't much cared for fortune or fame- nor was he running from his problems as some might assume, he had genuinely enjoyed those times of semi anonymity, but when the rumors caught up, he suddenly had both.

In a place as far removed from the creepy potions labs, body parts from various fauna and flora alike, in the bright and sunny streets of a shopping district of Cairo, Egypt, restocking his supply of potions ingredients after a pleasant morning exploring the pyramids, planning on doing some brewing he was distracted.

The sudden shout "That's him! Severus Prince!" he didn't act with the speed he should have and apparated out right away, instead spinning about, robe billowing, preparing his occulmancy and wand fearing a lynch mob.

He got a mob alright.

"Can you sign my potions book!?"

"Thank you so much Mr Prince, your Aux Potion completely cured my lumbago!"

"That's nothing, the same potion cured my Grandmother's dimentia- who knew it was a spell making her loopy- we thought she just liked going Skyclad!"

On and on it went, he was so shocked that he did naught but stare, numbly replying and signing on automatic, before making his excuses when the tide died down and he got his wits about him.

He never fully got _used_ to the positive attention, having had so little in his life previously, but he _did_ get used to taking some advantage of it, the doors of knowledge that it opened amazed even he.

It was such a stark contrast being back at Hogwarts.

Here, he wasn't a world renowned potioneer, instead he was the bat of the dungeons, the unfair bigot.

Oh, some of the better read Ravenclaws and Slytherins knew of his accomplishments, but Magical England was fairly secular, unchanging and uncaring of the wider world.

Here, he wasn't the man that invented the potion that revolutionized the magical world- no here he was back to being an evil Slytherin to all but a handful.

It was, in a way, a relief.

He just wished Harry Potter wouldn't look at him with _her_ eyes, practically glowing in admiration.

* * *

Scruffy was annoyed.

It started with the train ride- people barging into his and Luna's compartment without even a knock.

It didn't get better after he was sorted- on one hand at least he wasn't a Slytherin even if he was ambitious, the supposed Boy-Who-Lived would not likely have a good time in that house. He could have sworn the hat had muttered about being unable to sort him into Slytherin- the hat claiming he had been made not to sort a person somewhere that is likely to lead to the destruction of Hogwarts.

Still though, Hufflepuff? The yellow was only the start of the problems.

The Hufflepuffs save Luna had badgered him endlessly from the feast and up to the dormitory- where he found out to his horror that they stuffed all 5 boys into a single room.

Being told he wasn't very loyal for his apparent disinterest in the questioning regarding his parent's murders and other rather invasive personal questions, loyal to a bunch of people he had only just met soured him even more against Hogwarts than ever before.

Of course, being an effective fifth year- and then some considering he'd not restricted himself to age appropriate spells, nor ones on any single curriculum, he considered the old adage, change what you can change, accept what you can't.

It only took about twenty minutes to section off the last bed, apparently his considering it lacked a trunk, transfiguring walls and doors from playing cards, and in a fit of whimsy keeping the looks the same, merely increasing the thickness and size and sticking them to floor. In the midst of this, he found the room large enough for a second floor other than the places the beds were and saw no reason not to indulge. A staircase made out of slightly enlarged playing cards stuck into the stone wall led up to a large clubs house.

He did much the same for furnishings, rather liking his cut out dice chairs and a table made of three cards, two on their long sides facing up and one horizontal, with a bit of cheating from a sticking charm.

Spelling the cards as indestructible as possible wasn't that hard- he'd been doing that for ages- though protecting against simple canceling charms was trickier- and he had to look up a spell or two in his book of shadows, not having yet mastered them, but in the end he had private quarters that would leave many a student envious.

Of course, transfiguration wasn't permanent- he'd likely end up cutting down a tree or two and using the charms shaping spells to transform them into giant playing cards in the end, but that would just make his suite of a suite better.

He admitted no small amount of pride leaving the fellow first year boys of Hufflepuff gasping in amazement at his feats, which they hid with jealous and angry looks.

* * *

The next day of course, was worse for Scruffy.

It started with none of the Hufflepuffs waking him for breakfast and having to rush at too damned early O Clock, something he rather hated.

Worse, he was waylaid mere steps into the great hall by some red headed boy attempting to get him to join the brave lions "Why are you hanging around Loony anyway? After all, you're not a Duffer like the rest of em, right mate?"

Glaring and about to respond, he was spared from such by the hefty Professor Sprout, the apparent head of house of Hufflepuff shooing the boy away while handing out the class schedules.

At least the other first year boys left him alone, weary of annoying someone that could already do so much magic he assumed. That was all it stopped, if it weren't for Luna he would have upped and left.

As it was, ignoring students invasive questions, giving the shortest answer possible when he gave one at all, the whole thing was beginning to give Scruffy a headache, making him rather wishing he'd disappear.

* * *

Classes that day started out with a bang- with the Charms Professor falling off his stack off books upon reaching Scruffy's name. Scruffy still wasn't sure how he felt about being known only by Harry Potter in this school- and considering his status as the Boy-Who-Didn't-Die, he didn't think he'd be successful getting people to call him Scruffy.

After roll call... it was onto an explanation of charms, and despite already knowing, he had to admire the little Professor's enthusiasm. Short though he may be, the man's personality filled any room he was in.

Still, there was only so much he could take, so as his only concession to the class being reading a book on charms he cracked open one of the handful he had purchased at Diagon Alley and not yet read.

"Charms You Never Knew You Needed" was jam packed with charms for everyday life in the same way lifehacks were, the vast majority he could never see himself needing. It would likely take longer to learn the shoe tying charm than the time spent tying shoes a few dozen times at least, but he could see within it potential. Tying another person's shoes together to trip them up as part of a magical magic act perhaps? Or... what if he had tied up that giant fellow's shoe laces?

"Mister Potter!" Scruffy looked up confused on the third or so call, not used to the name in the least, "Yes Professor?"

"What in the world are you doing? Have you heard a word I've said?"

Scruffy shrugged, "Yeah, I heard something about casting a charm wrong leading to someone getting a Buffalo conjured on their chest." The most interesting little tidbit, that, though he did wonder if it were _true._

"I see..." Clearly not liking it, the diminutive professor carried on with his lecture.

* * *

Transfiguration with the Ravenclaws was if anything worse, though it started out amazing, with the cat leaping up and turning into a woman- he had to learn that! 'Just think, go behind a curtain and suddenly I'm replaced with a tiger in an instant!' he thought.

"Transfiguration is one of the most difficult, complex and demanding disciplines you shall learn at Hogwarts. Anyone messing about in my class will leave and not come back, you have been warned." Professor Mcgonagall lectured on, but Scruffy's attention had wandered with that.

A free pass to skive off the class, and all he had to do was mess about she said?

* * *

"Mr Potter! What in the world is _that!?"_ Professor Mcgonagall _nearly shouted_

"I don't know, at first I was trying for a sword- but it didn't come out quite right." Indeed the match to needle transfiguration had been rather boring and his match now rather resembled a most impractical spiked sword that had looked far cooler and more practical in his imagination.

"Mister Potter, in all my years I don't think I've ever had someone show such careless disregard for my subject, much less in their very first class! That will be 20 points from Hufflepuff and detention" With a wave of her wand she returned the spiked abomination back into a match.

"Wait, I thought messing about was a free pass to skipping this class- er, I mean I'd be punished with getting kicked out." Scruffy amended.

"Mister Potter, while I did indeed say that-" Scruffy didn't like where this was going, so tried one last gambit.

"Hey guys, we can mess about as much as we want!"

"Out Mister Potter!" Scruffy was up and walking out the door grinning to titters of the class. Before he reached safety however, the professor continued "You may return next class after your _two_ detentions." causing him to slump to increased laughter.

* * *

On the way to lunch Scruffy was waylaid once more, though the redheads seemed to be breeding at an astounding rate.

"We heard all about it."

"It's most impressive-"

"Detention, your very first day of classes-"

"-and getting out of classes until you comply! Very nice!"

"Of course, nothing we couldn't have done-"

"-But nothing we _would_ have done- Mcgonagall's scary."

"Now now my most esteemed colleague, that may be true for you, but I am made of sterner stuff-"

Scruffy blinked as the twins who had waylaid him got into an argument with each other, before shrugging it off and walking around them.

* * *

Just when Scruffy had been sure Hogwarts classes held little to no value to him, he has his last class of the day, first potions class, and it was an eyeopener.

As the Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors came into the empty potions classroom, they divided themselves into houses. Hufflepuffs hardworking though they were were, apparently weren't adverse to taking advantage of the situation to take seats nearest to the door.

All day they had been talking among themselves about the new, or is it old Professor returning, and Scruffy was just curious enough to pay attention.

If you asked a Gryffindor who had him- namely a seventh year- or really, just about any with a sibling older enough, then Snape was evil incarnate, and after his breakfast of children that misbehaved he spent his every waking moment plotting to take over the world- or at least ruin someone's day.

Only- his name wasn't Snape anymore, he was Prince for some reason, and the Slytherins damn near revered the man- supposedly for his past blatant favoritism of his house.

He himself... well, he was wary but seeing him in the context of potions made him recall taking a potion, good memory or know one couldn't recall every moment with crystal clarity at the same time nor easily make connections betwixt the things.

The potion had been painful- but Rosie had said it was needed- that she didn't like how his scar hadn't healed properly.

In the end, twenty minutes that felt like twenty hours spent moaning in pain struggling not to left Scruffy completely without magic, including the black oozing scar on his forehead, the distant sound of a pain scream in his head making little sense.

After sleeping his magic had returned and then some, his core refilling seeming nearly twice as large, and more, he slept better, with less nightmares, thought clearer through his lessons, remembered things better and didn't struggle to understand as much, as if he had already learned all this and was simply relearning how.

He had been sick, but now was well, and he owed it all to this man, this Prince.

As the final person sat down the door slammed open and in he swept, robe billowing as he strode in and commanding such an air about him that the whole class fell silent.

He wasn't much to look at, though Scruffy knew he looked far different than he had before. Supposedly he had not only a new nose, straightened teeth and his hair had been portioned with a concoction of his own making to say nothing of his tan. A far cry from when they say he used to be so pale he had been mistaken for a vampire a time or two by very frightened first years.

"You are here to learn the subtle science and exact art of potion-making," he began in a whisper that caught the full attention of every student. A gift, Scruffy thought, that he would have to learn, his admiration rising to new heights with every word.

"As there is little foolish wand-waving here, many of you will hardly believe this is magic. I don't expect you will really understand the beauty of the softly simmering cauldron with its shimmering fumes, the delicate power of liquids that creep through human veins, bewitching the mind, ensnaring the senses... I can teach you how to bottle fame, brew glory, even stopper death..."

Prince was amazing, Scruffy thought. Oh, his lesson stunk, really, instructions on the board? What kind of preparation is that?

Still though, just because you were a genius at making potions didn't mean you would make for a good teacher.

Poor Westly or whatever his name was and Finnigan... He didn't know whether their eyebrows would ever be the same!

It could be worse Scruffy thought- he heard until Professor Prince had refused to come back unless things were changed that Slytherin and Gryffindor shared this class- a disaster waiting to happen considering how poorly those two houses got on.

But sweeping into the dungeon classroom at the perfect moment, his robe billowing impressively, and that speech! He tried his best to write down every word, barely managing, thanking Merlin that his pens had run out of ink often enough that he was forced to learn to write passably with a quill notes and spells.

Scruffy had a new goal out of his Hogwarts career, learning Prince's robe billow.

* * *

Omake A: MindFreak.

The twinges in Snape's brand getting too painful to ignore he moved on to more relevant studies fearing their need. To pay for it, a small detour in Las Vegas under the assumed name Criss Angel.

* * *

Omake B: Like Father, Like Son.

When Charms class ended, Scruffy was tempted to cast the shoe tying charm on the annoying Redhead who had spent the entire lesson sending glares at Scruffy.

Impulse control at his age being what it was, well, the thump wasn't unexpected, nor was the ginger's anger at the laughter of some of the students, Scruffy no exception.

The the cursing expletives that came out of the redheads mouth, foul enough to peel paint were a shock however. Gryffindor was soon down 40 points on top of the bleeding nose and humiliation.

That would serve that Wangly person right for suggesting he abandon the "Duffers" and join him in friendship- oh and can I see your Scar? As if the bland breakfast wasn't bad enough on it's own, as if having naught but milk water and for some absurd reason liquefied pumpkin pie filling wasn't bad enough, he had to go and put him off his breakfast and insult his friend Luna.

A shoe tying spell was indeed a very nice spell to have, and he'd have to put in the effort to learn it silently, if not wandlessly.


	12. Honey Badger Don't Care

Albus Dumbledore was fairing little better than Severus with Harry Potter's antics.

There were scant few full teachers meetings- one before school, one a week in, a month in, and another couple at the end of term, beginning of term and a final one right before Owls and Newts, and this was shaping up to be a headache of one.

Dumbledore frowned.

"You say he created a suite out of playing cards?"

"Yes, isn't it amazing?"

"Yes... amazing..." Just what of Voldemort is in his scar and how has Harry managed to access it? Oh, it's possible that he learned it all on his own, perhaps through books, or perhaps one of the witches or wizards at that new warded home of his had taught him, but what child is so diligent to study that hard? No... it was alarmingly looking like Harry was more than he appeared.

Fortunately, though Harry may have access to some or all of Tom's memories, he didn't appear too influenced by them- his friendship with Luna and blackmail to force her admittance a year early was to him, a _good_ sign- Tom had never cared that much for anyone.

On the other hand, should anything happen to Luna Lovegood... Albus swallowed heavily, he truly did not want to have to deal with another Dark Lord.

"What of your classes with him...?"

He felt a headache coming on as he learned just what the Boy-Who-Lived-To-Annoy had been getting up to, unable to think up a solution to get a student that didn't need the classes into attending them, to motivate a child that clearly didn't need schooling into behaving like a model student, one who cared so little about points and detentions...

Worse, if he were this apathetic towards his schooling, would he treat the prophesy with anything but the disdain he showed his class work? One line rang clear through his memory. 'The Dark Lord's' equal could mean many things- some more alarming than others.

As much as he hated the very idea of endangering a student, a test was needed of the boy's character. It was then that Quirinus Quirrell brought up the answer to his problems, "W-what p-progress has been m-made on p-protecting the s-stone may I a-ask Headm-master?"

* * *

Scruffy examined Professor Prince carefully every lesson, trying not to let on he was watching so diligently, and practiced over and over again. It was a sort of gliding sliding walk, beyond graceful, silent, and that twirl that set his robes on air was amazing showmanship. This proved that not only he had a lot more to learn, but that Professor Prince was clearly also a magician. Well, that or some super suave spy, but that's impossible.

More over, as shamed as he was to admit it.. he hadn't focused much of his attention on potions. Sure, they wouldn't earn him any stars, but the more he saw, the more he saw of them, the more he thought they should.

Additionally, while his teaching was haphazard, after that first lesson- which was seeming more and more like a test of their present capabilities than anything else, he did set us on the proper way to clean the cauldron and instruments before and after to avoid contamination, along with demonstrations and practice with the different common ingredient preparation techniques.

The only annoying thing was he avoided Scruffy like the plague- he had wanted to ask if there were some wires in his robe- he knew that was part of a trick or two, but Scruffy was sure he wouldn't say- not to him, he'd just have to figure it out himself.

Something was wrong. It wasn't _just_ that he was awake and cold at midnight, stuck in an Astronomy lesson- something that didn't really matter in the least, as long as he had an astronomy almanac he doubted he'd ever need the class- and even then it was iffy.

More importantly... "Yes dear?"

"Is there any reason why we're having classes outside in the cold, instead in the conveniently charmed Great Hall? I heard some girl talking about it's ceiling being charmed to look just like the sky outside..." Scruffy really had to wonder about the common sense of wizards and witches sometimes.

The rest of his classes were mostly dull- so much so that he hardly attended them, spending most of his time reading books from the library, practicing spells and helping Luna the rare times she needed it.

Sadly, without someone that already knew, figuring out the mispronunciations was still a problem, and spells, in their faux Latin as they were, his English to Latin dictionary only helped so much.

He also spent a large amount of time exploring the castle. It wasn't _the_ most impressive of castles he's seen from the outside- it wasn't very defensible like the Rumeli Fortress with it's sprawling walls and multiple well positioned towers, it's forests surrounding it were rather plain for a magical school save perhaps the Womping willow, and it certainly wasn't the most beautiful castle he'd seen- he rather liked Matsumoto Castle when he visited Japan, but there was a but.

None of those castles had been _magical_. The portraits, so unlike the door guards of the Sub Rosa actually _talked_ \- and while spotting a ghost was a surprisingly rare event in Hogwarts save the house ghosts. There was little better source of not only historical accounts that were more entertaining than anything that the Professor mumbled about- he was better than the ghost, some 7th years said, but Scruffy didn't see it, he was far too concerned with us memorizing dates and not enough of the stories history tells us, the lessons one can learn.

More, portraits also knew how to pronounce a lot of his spells and most were more than happy to help.

They knew spells off the beaten path, from all walks of life, many that weren't or never had been in the Hogwarts curriculum.

One portrait of a wizarding farmer for instance in the dungeons knew spells for a dozen of different things Scruffy would have never have thought of learning- or would have ever thought a farmer would know, from a spell to brand livestock including a small magical connection if they get lost or stolen, to a spell to drain the blood, and another that painlessly put down anything from dogs to bears that were attacking the livestock.

They also knew of the secret passage ways, each knew any that was in their line of sight for the most part if nothing else.

Figuring out where they were in places without portraits was a challenge- you couldn't even rely on the floor layout to determine there _was_ one, not with magic expanding and twisting space.

No, for the most part Scruffy relied on word of mouth of the portraits, and where there weren't any, the best he could do aside from revealing spells that were usually warded against was looking to the dust for footprints, the walls for parts more worn than others, and the like.

It was after one of these forays into the unknown that he came back to the Hufflepuff common room to the creepiest thing he'd ever seen.

Professor Sprout, standing before what looked like every single Hufflepuff, sitting or standing, or leaning against the walls, all staring at him, Luna giving a wave.

"Have a seat young man, no need to be frightened, we just need to have a talk..."

A single chair was left facing the others... An uncomfortable looking wooden chair that almost certainly had been conjured.

A finite proved it and he took a breath, he wasn't great at conjuring but with a bit of effort, he expelled the magic needed, and he had a lumpy _thing_ in bright green that he sat upon, depressing a bit as he leaned back into his beanbag chair.

"Harry, you know we all care about you-" A few of his dorm-mates and others scoffed at that, and Scruffy raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, well, we're worried you're isolating yourself-"

"And you've cost Hufflepuff 300 points!"

"Yes, and that- no one is doubting you can do the work, you handle plants well enough when you decide to show up. You have to realize your actions have consequences and not just to you. We're here to support you through it- I realize the prospect of attending all the detentions you've racked up might seem like a bit much but I've discussed it with the other teachers and you'll just have to do the homework and classwork you missed-"

"No thanks." Scruffy interrupted.

"Pardon? What in the world do you mean no thanks?" Professor Sprout

"I mean that I have no intention of doing so, it's a waste of time. I suppose I'll take my OWL's and NEWT's, if only so if I ever decide to work in the magical world I can-"

"Harry Potters planning on leaving us?" A small voice said.

Scruffy shrugged, "I may, I may not- but I won't leave magic behind." Scruffy didn't want to get into it, and it was even true, he was, after all planning to be a wizarding magician in the muggle world. It was fun, and it filled up his coin purse more and more every time he went as he improved his craft. Better yet as he was finally getting some height he was getting scolded less and less to go to school, having to confound a person a time or two when some overly concerned Motherly type thought she should take him home. He loved watching the wonderment, amazement on people's faces, he had spent most of the time on the boat trip to the school people watching having seen castles before many a time.

Shaking his head, he started paying attention again- Sprout having called for silence as the herd of students were rather vexed at the mere possibility of him vanishing once more from the magical world. "-can't just go flouting the rules, if you keep this up you'll get expelled!"

"Good, I was convinced that the magical world wouldn't leave me alone, and that I might learn a thing or two here so I came, but I do miss my home." He'd never gone so long without browsing a magic shop- a proper illusionist's supplier, much less so long without preforming a magic act, but he rather doubted most Wizards would enjoy it and they stared at him rather too much as it was. Perhaps the club house was a bad idea?

"They'll break your wand dear- you don't want that-"

"It's okay, I can get another abroad." He didn't want to mention his second wand.

"He's leaving England too?" The shouting started again.

"You can't leave!"

"What will happen to us if there's another dark lord? Where's your loyalty? How the hell did you get in Hufflepuff?" Scruffy winced at that- He was expected to fight dark lords because an accident when he was a baby? Worse still... he didn't see anyone say anything against the sparkly boy's tirade... Could future dark lords target him thinking the same?

"Well, I expect the aurors and ministry will take care of it, that or Dumbledore-"

"Professor or Headmaster, Mr Potter." A rather annoyed if not outright angry Sprout said more clipped than any had heard her. She... she couldn't expect it of him too could she, that he face whatever dark lords pop up? Leaving England was sounding better all the time.

"Yeah, him- he took care of the one before Voldemort-" Cringes and even a couple shrieks sounded off.

"Seriously? As I was saying, they'll take care of it I expect- not even the Ministry of Magic could possibly be so incompetent to have nearly taken over by a terrorist and not prepare for future threats. As to me- I have no plans to be conscripted as a one man army to be used against threats to the Ministry." He waved off their arguments.

"Look, the fact is I don't need Hogwarts- and I certainly have _no_ responsibility to stopping future terrorists you lot seem to treat like the _Boogie-Man._ As to loyalty, I'm loyal enough I'd say... It's just not to you lot- other than Luna of course. You've done nothing but _badger_ me since the day I arrived, really, asking if I remember my parents death? That's on the level of Rim Wheels or whatever his name is-"

"Does he mean Ron Weasley?"

"- As to not just me my lack of enthusiasm for things I've already learned... Why? Because I cost some house points? From what I understand you've lost the house cup for the past... what, hundred years? So what does it matter?" Talking over their answers he said "It doesn't- the points are made up to keep students behaving- what does winning the house cup matter? It doesn't get you anything but bragging rights, why not instead enjoy your time here?"

That sparked off a debate that Scruffy didn't give an inch on- he saw no purpose to work hard on something he could already do or obey some silly rules for fear of getting kicked out, some days he really regretted coming to Hogwarts.

* * *

The package within his suite a Month after coming to Hogwarts set off alarm bells in his head, but detection spells came up blank. It wasn't as if his apartment was all that warded- he didn't know very complex wards yet, and he hardly wanted to do his own cleaning if he didn't have to.

Still, it came up as safe, so hesitantly he opened it with a spell, gathering the note.

"Hmp, returning what should be mine as a late birthday present? What nerve... Still, it's a nice cloak..." Scruffy said thinking out loud. As he put it on to his utter amazement his body vanished- he heard of these!

He struggled not to laugh manically as he snuck out, his body all but invisible, shoes silenced and smell nullified, this beat the pants off of his disillusionment charms.

Scruffy looked into the mirror in awe. In it a half dozen people, Xeno, Luna, Rosie, Frankie, Freaky Franky, and even Lardo the Wandmaker, led by he himself all stood on diving boards before jumping off and into a massive bank vault full of gold coins... Figures Freaky Franky would be able to do a double back-flip...

Then to his utter amazement two people with his features followed suit, a woman with green eyes, a man with messy hair standing on diving boards, the man holding out his hand, the woman taking it, jumping and diving together, happy to see each other and swimming through the gold coins straight to him.

It was the most beautiful thing he ever saw, watching himself introduce his parents to his new family, all of them getting along famously, so rich that none of them need work another day if they did not wish.

He he only tore his eyes away from it when his hunger and thirst became severe enough. Walking to the kitchen he was distracted. He wondered just what such a thing as that mirror was doing in a school of all places... He didn't think he had been _compelled_ to keep looking, not magically, but magic could be subtle at times, but it was... horrifying and wonderful. They hadn't seemed to truly understand or even hear him, to see what he could never have... but on the other hand he was grateful to see his parents, not having ever known within himself knowing the need.

He smiled slightly, his mood brightening a bit as he tickled the pear which giggled in response- now this was magic, he thought, something whimsical that can brighten up your day, instead of making people long for what they would never have.

The otherwise still painting of a bowl of fruit swung open and as soon as Scruffy entered the mass of house elves descended on him like a shoal of piranha after he entered the kitchens, piranha that insisted he was far too thin and would he like something to eat?

* * *

"Ah, back again Harry?"

Flinching, he looked behind him properly and not through the magically malfunctioning mirror and nearly sighed in relief as he tore his eyes from them and saw Headmaster Dumbledore looking rather amused.

"Yes sir, didn't see you there..." Scruffy half asked.

"Yes, rather narrow sighted, one gets when invisible..."

"Were you the one that gave me-" Scruffy trailed off, Albus nodded "... I see, well, thanks for the return of the cloak."

"Glad to be of service, my boy." Albus frowned at Scruffy's flinch, and grimaced remembering the muggle man had called him little but boy or freak. He would have to watch his tongue, bad enough, the news that the intervention hadn't worked, worse still that Harry had no intention of saving them... He wished that the boy would have a choice as such, but with the prophesy he rather doubted it.

Saying none of the things he half-thought he should, he instead said "I see, like many others, you too have come across the Mirror of Erised-"

"No, that's just... well, it was my Mom, you have to kiss your Mom when she appears in a mirror despite being dead." Harry said, rather misunderstanding.

"Ah..." Albus took a moment of contemplation and decided he was being truthful and hadn't masturbated into a magical artifact, though what was coming of today's youth when they say innuendos like that to their elders?

"So you understand then, what it does?" Albus lead.

"Yeah, I figured that out easily- the letters are just mirrored. Clever, if a bit annoying to read." Scruffy didn't mention he didn't even notice the letters until his second time at the mirror.

"I see, and you saw your Mother, you said?"

Scruffy grimaced, before nodding "The rest of my family too." The Sub Rosa, mostly. At times for some unfathomable reason Vernon Petunia and Dudley had been in the mirror, granted, they had been looking in with jealousy at the large family swimming in gold, shivering in the cold.

Dumbledore smiled, resisting the urge to blink, his eyes a bit watery.

"So, what do you see sir?" It was only fair after all.

"Socks-" Albus paused there, before finishing with, "My Sister giving me socks, once more.." He owed it to the boy, and it hurt nothing but him to talk about it, after his failures he felt he rather deserved it.

"It doesn't do to dwell on dreams and forget to live, I shall be moving the mirror shortly, and I ask that you not search for it..." Albus asked with a sigh in relief at Harry's nod, feeling rather drained as he always did when thinking of the dearly departed.

Shaking it off the headmaster finished with "Well, I dare say it's both our bedtimes, but first I rather feel like a cup of hot chocolate, how about you?" Albus said turning, and both ignored that he was wiping his eyes with a robe sleeve.

Scruffy blinked, but said "Sure thing, Headmaster."

The deal hashed out betwixt the two was one that neither was fully satisfied with, but such was the art of compromise.


	13. A Lunar Halloween

Luna smiled as she built a catapult out of a carved carrot and a baked potato with a groove cut into it that fit it perfectly, and with baby carrot ammo loaded she slapped her hand on the empty end sending the carrot flying far out of reach of the mashed potato castle she wished to knock down.

Ron Weasley survived the hit to the head, having had much worse from his brothers, speaking of which... "Fred, George, which one of you threw a carrot at me!"

The Slytherins were a surly bunch at the best of times, but at least they were polite if you were a pureblood- well most of them.

"What are you doing here Loony? Isn't there an imaginary friend that needs playing with, or has it died like your blood-traitor Mummy?"

"You're the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard." Luna muttered one of Scruffy's favorite insults to purebloods. She ignored the titters with practiced ease even as she lined up her shot, cheering as on the forth try she hit her mashed potato castle over at Hufflepuff table. The disgruntled people she hit with those misses she felt slightly bad for, but only slightly as it started what would later be known as the great Halloween food fight of 91.

That her actions had amused Scruffy, that the resulting food fight cheered him up on this, the darkest day in his life was really all that mattered. He had been looking glum for the past few days, more so today, which was understandable, the anniversary of a loved one's death can do that. Still, despite the sadness in his eyes, she couldn't help but be a little happy- and wanted him to as well, as it was the anniversary of the day she had met her best friend two years ago.

"Flashback, flashback, flashback..." Luna chanted, her voice growing softer with each repetition as she waved her hands about. The Slytherins gave her an odd look but she didn't much mind, rather used to it as she was, and Luna thought back.

It should have been dark and stormy, but weather spells were beyond her- she only knew a half dozen spells from helping her parents with the chores with a borrowed wand back then, and cleaning the sky wouldn't do any good, it was clean, that was the problem.

Instead it had been a bright and Sunny day as the Daddy and Daughter duo set out, annoyingly so. Didn't the weather know that the most amazing woman had died? That her best friend- former best friend- didn't have time for her grief, too consumed by Potter-mania as a new Harry Potter came out? That her Father was so deep into grief he was practically a inferi most days?

The weather really could show a little respect, she thought with a huff.

She wanted nothing more than her Mother back. Baring that, she wanted her Father back to how he used to be, or at least better.

If wishes were hippogriffs, we'd still ride brooms she had thought, since wishes didn't come true as far as she knew.

"Ready to go Moonbeam?" the man said, wearing a frock coat and cane, he looked rather dashing, it really worked well with the rain boots, Luna thought. The mouse ear hat was a bit strange, but Arthur Weasley had assured him muggles wore them in America all the time

Luna sighed but nodded to her Father- he was getting somewhat better- it was only a few days late to go grocery shopping.

"Tally-ho then, and off we go." He said, trying but failing to inject enthusiasm into it as he held out his elbow, and she grabbed hold of it.

Then they were squeezed down and shot like a spell. She wondered if this is how spells felt? As if cast through through a hollow wand, too small? She hoped she got a thick wand so her spells didn't ever have to feel like that. Luna nodded, a big long wand was just what she wanted- why was Daddy turning green? Oh dear, I'm thinking out-loud again aren't I?

"Yes you are... Still, your theory has merit, that's an article if there ever was one, a disturbing article that will rock the very foundations of society no doubt. Now let us speak of it no more until you're thirty."

Luna tried beaming at her Father but her heart wasn't in it as they walked out of the alley and towards a nearby grocery store. They wouldn't be able to get _everything_ they needed there of course, Muggles had no Butterbeer for example, but their pudding selection was beyond anything she had seen before.

Before they reached the store they saw a crowd in an empty dirt lot. It wasn't even a conscious decision to head towards it. Field reporters that they were acted immediately. The sounds of excitement and amazement deserved that much.

Edging towards an open space they saw a small boy roughly her age with scruffy black hair, juggling what looked to be three handkerchiefs, and to her amazement one of them turned into a white and red bowling pin, "Breaking the statue, hm... wandlessly though?" Daddy muttered, but she didn't care, it was just impressive that he could juggle _and_ cast spells at the same time, hell, even just one was impressive- she couldn't transfigure anything herself.

The crowd gasped, Luna joining them as the second handkerchief transformed before their eyes into another bowling pin, one man actually shouting "This is just wrong man, wrong, you're the devil!" to a bit of laughter though Luna considered this and mused out loud "I thought the devil would be taller."

Seemingly hearing her, the brightest green eyes turned toward her with a shocked look at her comment... and the last of the handkerchiefs the green eyed boy was juggling turned into a bowling ball. Yelping the boy lept backwards just as the bowling ball fell, missing where his feet had been. Impressively despite the near miss the boy managed to pluck the pins out of the air before taking a bow to the uproarious laughter.

She smiled too, though a bit embarrassed she had messed up his transfiguration.

Luna had gone on to apologize to him after the show and finding out when he'd be back, they went their separate ways.

She smiled in remembrance, once a week she and her Father searched out the boy as he wandered the streets of London preforming magic for coins, talking after the show, becoming friends. It was a year after they met that they were invited into the Sub Rosa.

Luna didn't fit in anywhere but her family. Joining the Sub Rosa didn't change that, it just added a few members.

Going to Hogwarts with Scruffy was like a dream come true, able to see him every single day without fail.

Sure, they weren't interesting enough to be told verbatim in some story, but that didn't mean they were bad or didn't happen. The best times often make for the dullest stories.

"Bye everyone." Luna waved at the stone wall, greatly confusing the Slytherins, though a few managed to respond as she trotted off, feeling as if nothing could go wrong that day.

* * *

It was the deal with the proverbial devil, Scruffy thought with annoyance, starting on this day of all days...

He sighed, even Luna's antics didn't take him completely out of his funk, the mirror of Erised didn't help matters.

The deal between him and the Headmaster wasn't quite a cheerful thought in itself either, considering he mostly wanted to get expelled not get more incentive to stay... More, he had to question just _why_ he was doing it, and could come up with no plausible reason save fear of the panic it would cause if the Boy-Who-Lived got expelled or perhaps worse- deemed Hogwarts inadequate.

Still, being removed from the points system entirely- for good and ill wasn't something he had expected- he didn't particularly care but if it'd stop the occasional jinxes the Hippocrates of Hufflepuff sent his way he didn't mind all that much.

Being allowed to audit any class he wished wasn't a bad thing certainly, even if they went over too much theory- he didn't have the head for it- learning enough to make the spell work but little else, but he had the portraits...

He supposed for practical classes like Herbology and Potions it was useful- he started attending second year potions in addition to first and loading up on Herbology as much as he could. Sadly he couldn't rush ahead in potions- too much depended on previous years to understand it and Prince outright refused to admit him to any but first and second year.

If everything went right- or he did some independent studying during breaks he thought- he was told he'd be allowed to take his OWLs this year and NEWTs in his third year, allowed to study at Hogwarts for as long as he wished there-after.

In return, though he would largely be left to his own devices- misdeeds serious enough would be punished with something that mattered to him.

He didn't know just how he expected Scruffy to keep quiet if he followed through on his threats, surely he could complain to someone, couldn't he?

But then, who would care about a man ordering a bunch of portraits to not talk to someone for a week or two? Who would believe him when he said he'd order the house elves not to make treacle tart, his favorite dessert, or worse- pudding? Luna would murder him in his sleep if the Headmaster followed through with that!

Would people be outraged by someone not being able to talk to what most considered mere furniture, or not being allowed dessert?

One thing was certain he thought no matter how kind the man had seemed on the surface, he was not Scruffy's friend, not just for that either. Scruffy was beginning to suspect, seeing how he knew everything that went on in Hogwarts, that he knew and was at least partly responsible for him being dumped on the Dursleys.

* * *

The feasts at are said to be comparable to fine dining from the Muggle world, with a selection of dishes each every one made in love and care. Sure, the recipes were dated, and sure, being English they were rather simple fare dressed up nice, as bland as Ben Stein.

Scruffy did rather like the treacle tart though.

Really, Scruffy rather wished he had gone, even feeling as down as he did. Instead he trailed bemused behind Luna in a dark forest searching for one of Luna's creatures. But making Luna happy was important too, and he hardly wanted her going off on her own.

It wasn't until they had returned empty handed, a brief stopover in the kitchens- the wondrous elves saving them a few delectable treats, that they discovered a Troll had somehow found itself in the school.

What kind of school were they running here where trolls could just wander in?

The next morning grew stranger, as it was going around the school that Hermione Granger had been troll hunting, and found it in a bathroom- but in over her head she would have died if not for Neville Longbottom of all people managing to stab the thing with hedge clippers distracting it enough for that Ram Wheezy fellow to bash the Troll's head with it's own club with a simple levitation spell.

As much as Scruffy didn't like Rinky Winky, he had to admit that was pretty smart.

More important to that, why did he suddenly feel like he should have been there? As if he'd go troll hunting. He knew the Granger girl was a bit necrotic, but troll hunting, really?

* * *

Omake: Mooning the Troll.

Luna stared at the troll. The troll stared at the Luna. "Hi, I'm Luna Lovegood, nice to meet you." She said brightly.

"This is not the way one behaves during an interview I'll have you know." Luna said frowning from beneath the sink as the troll swiped a massive club where she had been.

The professors rushed in, finally having heard sounds of a battle to the astounding site of a troll encased neck down in chains, and a young blond girl with a pen and paper nodding "So you say Quirrell let you in before running off, how awful. I wonder if this means Professor Quirrell is a member of the Rotfang Conspiracy?"


	14. Smoke and Mirrors

Quirrell at last pierced the final defense. It was clever, but nothing the Dark Lord couldn't help him puzzle out, telling him to take a sip of each of the potions and swallow the bezoar he had urged Quirrell to carry about had been genuis, more over, the Dark Lord had explained anything the bezoar missed the stone could easily cure.

Seeing the crowded stone room, wands pointed at seemingly everyone including him by an annoyed looking Albus Dumbledore, he considered running. The threat of dire consequences if he failed, and the fact his very life depended on the stone made him stay. His hesitation cost him however, and the old man had him tied up and falling to the floor in chains in an instant, even as a conflicted looking Prince considered attacking the old man, but decided it wasn't worth getting imprisoned.

From within his turban Voldemort was pleased with his servant's seeming loyalty, little good that did him now. Still, he rather doubted Severus would succeeded where he had failed, and was smart enough to try. Smart, loyal, rich and famous placed impeccably in his enemy's camp as a spy. What a useful servant he had become in his absence, the immortal thought as fondly as he ever could about a person.

Distracted though his other half was, Quirrell was fully in the moment and aware of how screwed he was.

What in the world was Dumbledore doing here when he'd sent that false message to the ministry? Why and how did Hermione Granger and Neville Longbottom get into this inner sanctum of a dungeon full of traps? Severus Prince looking as if he'd swallowed one of Dumbledore's lemon drops, as well as some Weasley, he couldn't tell them apart for the life of him.

Quirrell muttered "Well, this is awkward." from his place on the floor.

"Silence fool!" Voldemort yelled, even as one of the interchangeable seeming Weasley twins passed the fire entering the room.

"Darn-it, this isn't the way to the bathroom! I guess I'm lost... and you're not buying this are you?" George sighed, "Detention then?" Professor Dumbledore was spared from answering by the sounds of clinking containers and the sudden appearance of another redhead.

"Ow ow" A yelping gangly boy came through the fire looking a little crispy himself, very little of the potion having been remaining indeed.

Finally having patted out the last fire, he looked up and around to the tense situation and frowned at his wayward brother.

"It wasn't enough that you had to put your life in danger for some stupid rock, but you chose to do it the night they decided three-headed monster dogs and strangling plants weren't enough and decided to guard it or steal it themselves? Are you out of your mind!?" Fred yelled.

"Calm down Fred- this isn't what it looks like at all, this is just a tea party, honest. " See if he tried to get a really wicked present for his ever so slightly more rule abiding Twin Brother's birthday again.

An explosion had everyone ducking their heads, the wall to the right of the fire was blown through, a stream of red robed wizards came through pointing wands.

"Aurors, everyone drop the wands!"

"Oh for Merlin's saggy testes, I give up, but you haven't seen the last of me!" A black smoke seemed to slowly pour out of Quirrel's turban, nose, ears and mouth, coalescing into a dark manlike shape with red eyes. The collapse of Quirrel's body into blood red dust stalled them just long enough for the wraith to fly through one of children and steal enough magic to retreat and regroup.

Had he waited a few moments more, he would have witnessed the board of governs led by Lucius Malfoy staring in shock at the scene through the hole of the wall, before finally they got their wits about them and entered.

* * *

Scruffy trudged alongside a cheerful Luna after yet another foray into the forbidding forbidden forest. They hadn't managed to find anything new, but they did manage to see a Unicorn. That was something at least.

Scruffy, being a boy perhaps, didn't quite see what the big deal was, it was just a horny horse to him.

Luna on the other hand had watched it with barely repressed excitement, and to his surprise it had trotted up to the both of them, letting Luna coo all over it.

Finally reaching Hogwarts Grounds, they heard some commotion going on in Hagrid's hut.

Frowning, while Scruffy didn't _like_ the man- he didn't want him dead quite, he motioned Luna to be silent. Miming zipping her lips, locking them and throwing over the key to Scruffy's fond exasperation, he quickly threw over the invisibility cloak over the both of them.

They were just in time to overhear something that shocked Scruffy to his core.

"A Cerberus? Oh, can we see it?" Luna asked forgetting the need for silence.

Thankfully she wasn't ever a loud person, but none-the-less Scruffy steered them away from the hut, away from the unlikely trio of Rum, Hermione and Neville.

More important to that, he thought, was just what Nicolas Flamel had hiding at Hogwarts, and sighed. If it were up to him he'd keep wondering, but Luna was a reporter. She'd never let go of a juicy tidbit like that.

* * *

Discovering just who Nicolas Flamel was proved to be difficult. Worse yet, as Luna reminded him- it didn't have to be a person as it could potentially be an object or a pet with an odd name, not an impossibility in the Wizarding World.

Worse still, with the headmaster seemingly knowing everything that went down in the castle, he didn't dare write home to the Sub Rosa asking.

* * *

"I pity anyone that stays at Hogwarts for Christmas, really-"

Scruffy couldn't quite agree, not with the library and portraits at his disposal, but he supposed he did rather miss his family.

* * *

Scruffy had been curious about the beautiful silver mirror for what felt like ages. He remembered distantly being drawn to it when he was younger- and vaguely remembered never following through on it, having more immediate concerns like worrying about if the Sub Rosa decided he didn't fit in, that he was just a stupid kid after all if he didn't earn enough stars.

Still, upon finally learning what it was, he was rather stunned. It was a magic beyond anything he had thought possible.

"What?" he finally asked.

"I said -" Rosie started.

"I heard what you said, I just don't understand how you could place such a valuable mirror in a place any of the Sub Rosa can get to?" Scruffy loved them but even he knew they weren't all trustworthy- no organization has a completely devote following, especially not one with so many sticky fingered sentients.

"They can't though get to it though, that's the thing. You ever wondered why we get so few visitors compared to other way points?" At Scruffy's annoyed nod, Rosie went on "Well, this is why- only the most trusted can get to this house through The Way." His eyes widened at that, he'd been allowed to go through the Sub Rosa's transportation- the Way Points that connected all of the Sub Rosa's properties by himself since the first month! They had trusted him so long despite being a kid?

He hadn't realized he'd spoken until Rosie's answer "Yes and no... There's a sort of modified age-line around it, only if you thought your life was in genuine danger could you go through it and access the mirror- or if someone was with you anyway."

"Alright then... Well, then what about Luna and Xeno?" Scruffy asked, not wanting to keep secrets from his best friend.

Rosie winced, "Scruffy, they're, well, they're reporters.."

"Oh. Right. But still, I think this might be worth an oath-"

"I'll think about it and discuss it with the others, no promises though- oaths aren't fool proof, not with truth potions and that mind reading thing." Rosie said, not wanting to reveal her knowledge of legitmancy, much less her capability with it or that she used it on him to figure out he was trustworthy.

Scruffy slumped at them. "Can we at least get them to learning occulmancy then?"

"Sure, no harm in that, I know Xeno has some interesting spells..."

Scruffy shook his head, he loved the Sub Rosa, he really did, but they could be awfully mercenary.

"In the mean time, you can teach Luna, I'm sure she has something to offer in trade." Rosie winked at him, and Scruffy felt himself blushing.

He wasn't quite _there_ yet, and even if he were, he didn't think he'd want to trade magic for it, money either for that matter.

"Oh, and if you see any good prospects for membership or anything you think we should have..."

"I'll tell you when I have some time to think about it... Maybe this weird girl- Hermione Granger- she's obsessed with learning every spell there is it seems, would fit right in." He grumbled, not entirely pleased with the idea, she was bloody annoying a lot of the time. Still, he supposed a girl that was brave enough to hunt down a troll was pretty cool even if she got in over her head.

"I'll tell you more during the Summer, I'm pretty sure Dumbledore reads our mail or has someone do it, how else could he keep the fact there's a Cerberus at Hogwarts secret?" Scruffy finished, hoping to surprise Rosie for once.

"Probably for Care Of Magical Creatures classes" Rosie said, shrugging it off to his disappointment.

"Oh... I hadn't thought of that..." Scruffy said, maybe he shouldn't bother her with Flamel then, he had a lot to think about, he wouldn't earn enough money with magic tricks he didn't think, not for the amounts the Sub Rosa needed.

"No reason you should have- you don't pick electives till third year- though I suppose you've already started some?" She asked smirking.

Blushing a bit he nodded "Yeah, I've been going to Runes and Arithmancy classes occasionally- though I think I'm going to stop with the Arithmancy, I don't have much a head for math beyond the basics. Maybe I'll check out Care."

"I'm so proud of you just for getting the chance- you pick and study what you want." Rosie said, making him blush again even as warmth flooded him. Then she ruffled his hair ruining the moment, he thought. Flinching away as he hated getting his hair ruffled, soon led to a playful chase.

Overall, Scruffy was pleased with finally being told what the mirror was for. This... He didn't know if it was needed, but it made sense. The Muggles didn't care what they were doing to the planet, the pollution, the overpopulation. The Magicals weren't much better- they probably could have helped- but even if the Sub Rosa could have possibly stemmed the tide against Earth's demise, the ICW would never allow such a breach of the Statute of Secrecy, not knowing or caring that it was another reason the Sub Rosa in the know focused so much on the mirror... The Statute wouldn't last forever, not with the muggles getting more and more technologically advanced. Already there were Polaroid cameras and video cameras- rapidly becoming more popular.

As he thought and ran, he decided the Mirror was needed, but all this raised a very important question in Scruffy's mind.

"Time out- time out I said-" Rosie finally stopped, "What is it Scruffy?"

"Why are you in charge of the mirror, shouldn't the leaders of the Sub Rosa be in charge?"

Rosie smirked, and Scruffy felt a bit stunned as he realized what Rosie verbalized, giving her a chance to get in a final hair ruffle.

"We _are_ the leaders."

* * *

"Are you sure?" Scruffy asked, amazed.

Luna nodded, "Yes, Daddy had a book about it, here..."

"Merlin's beard... Hey Luna.."

"Yes Scruffy?"

He grimaced, but every good magician needs an assistant. "How would you like to help me with a magic trick?"

"Oh goodie! I'd love to, I've been practicing with some balls, it's really hard, my balls get really sweaty in my hands-"

Feeling rather green, Scruffy interrupted "I'm going to assume that you meant you've been practicing the cups and balls trick- moving on! I really want that stone..." He didn't outright say it- it's not a crime to say you wanted something was it?

He needn't have worried "Yay, my first burglary! I'll make a much better Fox than Granger, you'll see, Hound!"

Scruffy felt confused but pleased, knowing Luna had his back made this possible.

"Okay, here's the plan..."

* * *

" _First, the Weasley twins are the most important... They seemingly can find anyone- they keep popping up on me- even when I'm in secret passages, they're nice enough, so I really feel bad about it, but we need to know how they're doing it to stop them- we can't get caught by them blabbing our whereabouts..."_

Running into the Weasley twins wasn't hard- it was harder not to.

Finding out that there were some passages that were immune was the key, and not long after that they saw them consulting a piece of parchment.

It wasn't hard, to bump into one of them and snatch the map right out of one of their pockets. He felt bad about it, and knew this kind of thing was a slipper slope, but considering just what the stakes were, he squashed his guilt.

Once alone, Scruffy repeated what the Twins were given to saying when they thought they were alone, "I solemnly swear I am up to no good", his wand on the parchment that revealed itself to be a map, a map showing not only some passages he hadn't uncovered but the names of every person in the castle, making him smirk.

* * *

" _We should stalk Hagrid as much as we can, the man leaks information worse than that Razzle Wazzly kid's cauldron. If you can manage it you could even befriend the man- you both are batty for creatures- er, that is you both love animals..."_

"Dragons?" Scruffy asked, to Luna's nods.

"Well, damn." Scruffy muttered.

* * *

" _We should probably recruit help, maybe Granger, she's smart, get her to tell us anything weird going on, maybe that'll give us some clues- maybe tell her someone's after the stone- she'll be so curious she'll be in-"_

"Granger says that Neville says that Sprout says that the Devil's Snare we used was young- very young- but asking around I found that the second years and up had to manage a huge mass of the stuff- also she says there's an age line- but it's weird- she said her detection spells showed that it was conditional- as long as you wanted to protect what it contained, you could go through it"

* * *

" _We already know the teachers involved- and while we can't ask them straight out... we can get them something to protect and see just how they protect it- it might be similar enough to help us."_

"Hi Professor, hope you had a good Christmas?"

"It was satisfactory." Professor Prince said shortly.

"Good, er, here, I ...I got you something. I hope you like it sir." Scruffy handed over a gift the Professor regarded with barely concealed worry. Just what had Scruffy done to the man?

Still, after a few detection spells he slowly opened it upon realizing Scruffy wasn't going away.

"Is this!?" Prince opened the container full of nether quartz, one of the rarest and most valuable ingridents.

Scruffy grinned, "Hope you like it Professor." Still stunned the Professor nodded.

Scruffy left, and Luna observed under the invisibility cloak as the Professor shut his office door, before going to the chessboard. Putting the black bishop and white queen together in the center of the board, he moved on to the bookshelf, removing an empty jar and placing it against a wall, the wall swinging open, revealing his private potion's storage, the door left ajar.

"So, something involving chess, or maybe puzzles and puns?" Scruffy mused feeling a headache coming on.

* * *

" _Once all that is done, after figuring out how to get around the wards and traps, we create a distraction... Or rather, we have someone else create a distraction..."_

Scruffy felt slightly bad about the map, but he rather thought gifting the Weasley twin's with the book he had, he considered himself even considering the headaches it was sure to cause.

"The World's Greatest Pranks" wasn't an instruction manual, but did detail some of the biggest pranks ever pulled, such as the time pranksters put a giant fake Iceberg in the Sydney Harbour, H.G. Well's "War Of The World's" radio broadcast that lead to more than a bit of panic that aliens were attacking, and a muggle British newspaper convincing many that spaghetti grows on trees, along with a note saying "Think bigger, sorry about the map." written with a dictation-quill.

* * *

" _The distraction is going to be unexpected- even to us, so we've got to be prepared to go at a moment's notice- no matter how interesting it is- but I'm betting it's going to come sometime during the lead-up to exams- everyone's stressed then and due some relief."_

Everyone was surprised, Scruffy and Luna were no exception as the flying disc hovered menacingly over the Forbidden Forest.

As much as he'd like to watch things unfold, even as everyone rushed towards the windows, the Purebloods and wizard-raised half-bloods getting told just what flying and saucers and aliens meant- the panic and awe increasing- Luna was soon doing her part- making sure all the protectors and potential thieves of the stone were kept too occupied to make use of the distraction or to stop those that were- namely him.

"Someone get Professor Quirrell, he's the defense teacher- and Professor Prince- I hear he's really good with a wand!" Luna shouted- which had everyone paying attention- when the quiet one's shout, the smart one's listen. A couple of eager to get away students did just that- even as Luna snuck away to look at the map, she'd have to run interference if any should deviate to the third floor.

Getting past the defenses was easier than he'd thought.

Changing his mind was easy with _occlumency_ \- and he did want to protect the stone... from everyone not a part of the Sub Rosa.

Music soothed the savage beast.

The Devil's snare was bypassed entirely by one of Hogwarts substandard brooms

The chess board was easy enough to fly over as it turned out he didn't have to move the pieces about to unlock the next door

The troll wasn't quite a dragon but easily knocked out by depriving it of air with a modified bubble-headed charm all the same.

The logic puzzle wasn't too hard- he'd done harder ones, having sent home for a few books on them, hating having to dip further into his nest egg of money.

He frowned as he saw the mirror, and within it he was once more in a bank vault surrounded by his full family, this time turning masses of lead into gold.

He tore his gaze off the shockingly ingenious trap once more. "Now how am I going to get the stone out of there? Ah, I can figure it out later." Carrying a golden mirror throughout Hogwarts while trying not to be seen would be logic defying- thankfully he didn't' need to.

"Tinky!"

"Master called?"

It had been heartbreaking, to spend so much money to buy an elf, but it was rather needed, he thought. Despite that, Tinky had been invaluable, more so now.

"Take this mirror to my room at headquarters, please."

* * *

" _Last but not least... well, it's really silly, but a trick without an audience isn't a very good one, is it? They really shouldn't have put such dangerous things at a school even if it benefits us."_

Albus Dumbledore rubbed his forehead, probation after that headache was the least of his worries. In fact, as much of a headache this whole thing was, he was rather pleased, having proven the existence of Lord Voldemort not only to himself, but to several aurors, along with the board of governors- a mixed blessing at best considering Lucius Malfoy was among them- and several students and staff. It was enough to make even Fudge take notice- with so many witnesses not even he could bury his head in the sand and do nothing. He just wished he knew who had arranged all this- not a believer in coincidence. Still, he rather regretted how much extra work it caused, forcing him to repeat days several extra times to help draft legislation to fortify magical locations, increase the numbers of Aurors and Hit-Wizards. Considering the panic the flying saucer had caused, it was proving easier to push through than he had suspected. It was nothing compared to trying to puzzle out just who had stolen the mirror of Erised, and who had led all the people to the third floor all at once.

Prince sighed, it had seemed like such a good idea, stealing the stone to protect it- surely he could put it in a secret and warded location... More, he wasn't getting younger... He was beginning to have his suspicions where the stone ended up, and they spelled nothing good. Destroyed his arse.

Fred and George Weasley were pretty happy. Sure, they'd lost the map and George hadn't managed to get him an awesome birthday gift, but nothing can compare to creating a prank big enough to end up in the newspapers and get uncaught. Getting away from the chaos on the third floor was just pudding really.

Hermione Granger was ruffled, but pleased the stone wasn't in Voldemort's hands.

Ron was hungry. This wasn't unusual, but it wasn't food he was hungry for this time. No, he was hungry for power, as he dreamed in the hospital wing. He dreamed of an army of giant chess pieces under his control, he would become unstoppable!

Madam Pomfrey was annoyed. Ron had managed to shrug off the head wound and limp his way to the final room,aggravating his injury more than a bit.

Neville was happy, not only was the real stone safe, but one whispered plea saw his parents getting some of the last doses of the Elixir of Life remaining, not only did they get back their lost years, they were recovering.

Alice and Frank Longbottom were furious, not only with Augustus Longbottom and Algie Longbottom's horrid tactics of scaring out magic from Neville that was child abuse, but that their son had been in such danger.

Luna was just happy she'd helped a friend.

* * *

Smirking, Scruffy placed the mirror next to the other in the Surrey Sub Rosa home. It seemed rather fitting. He was sure between them all, they could figure out how to get the stone out.

Surprisingly it was Rosie who managed to get it out, only to find out that it was a fake. Not entirely useless however, as it made an excellent paper weight.

Sighing, Scruffy said "Mischief Managed". Sure it hadn't worked out perfectly, but he was sure someone would pay good money for a mirror that showed your deepest desire, and the Marauder's Map was a nice consolation prize, he thought, swallowing down his guilt.


	15. Summer and Sorting

"You are here to witness the subtle science and exact art of illusion. As there is little foolish wand waving- no tigers and no fancy stage, some may hardly believe it magic... I will show you how to bend and break the very laws of nature if you are brave enough and observant enough to comprehend..." Scruffy begun, feeling the speech was still lacking some. The drawl of Professor Prince however, he thought he imitated well enough to captivate the full attention of the growing audience.

"They said I can become anything I like when I grow up. Now, they meant I could do anything I wanted in life, from becoming an astronaut to sweeping the streets of litter- yes I saw you drop that wrapper!" The crowd laughed a bit at Scruffy's joke- and he smiled and thanked the man who picked up the bit of rubbish. A quick wave of his hands and the man, Xeno Lovegood, crumpled up and hid the wrapper, and an identical one appeared in Scruffy's hand and was quickly tossed in the open dumpster without looking to titters.

"But I rather liked the idea, anything I like? What could I become... I could perhaps transform into an animal, maybe by twisting like so..." Scruffy mused before he spun about, robe billowing not unlike his favorite professor. Suddenly he was facing the wall, his back to the audience. Locking the wires in the robe in place with a pin attached to a bit of string he carefully extracted himself from the still standing robes, ducking down and behind a rather conveniently placed dumpster.

Pulling a string from the robes free set wires free, the critical pin removed and wound rapidly into his hand, the crowd was getting restless when the robes fell into a heap to astonishment even as Scruffy was silently creeping around.

The heap of robes started moving just as a member of the crowd reached for it, timing is everything so that person was none other than Luna Lovegood. The screams of the crowd were amusing, as was the Dove breaking free and taking flight.

Jumping drew the crowds attention to behind them, and applause swiftly followed as the small crowd noted the boy who flew had returned.

"Ah, I love flying." He did too, he thought as he plucked a feather from his hair. "Still working the kinks out. It's a shame I can't do that without transforming... Or can I? Perhaps, if you clap your hands and believe, truly believe-" Having to work to pay his way through Hogwarts wasn't a big deal to him. Oh sure, he could have asked the Sub Rosa for money- and if he felt guilty for taking it out of the Sub Rosa's hands where it was needed, he could have made it a loan with interest.

But something about earning your way was satisfying in a way Scruffy couldn't put into words. That he was doing something he loved with the people he cared about? That was just gravy.

* * *

The Summer was a busy one. Between the heaps of Homework to ignore- magic of both worlds to cast, and people to reconnect with, Scruffy barely had time to put the pilfered mirror to work.

Of course, being stolen goods, it wasn't entirely a good idea to do so in England so close to the place it was stolen.

So he moved the mirror to one of the American Way Points- and soon had a couple recruited Sub Rosa renting out time, see your deepest desire for only 1 galleon per minute!

He felt a bit guilty on his shift as the man stared into the mirror weeping and he was forced to say "Time".

The man seemingly roused to his surroundings, bowing deeply to the perturbed boy, "I have no pictures of my daughter, she died and... Thank you." he said, pulling himself together.

He decided on a sideline. "Either of you know where to get a pensive? Get one of those and a Wizarding camera, we can charge another galleon per..." Sure, he could milk out more by keeping those desire addicts coming, but that'd make him feel rather dirty.

Besides, it wasn't like they were hurting for customers, he thought.

* * *

"Nono, it's more of a twirl- it's a bit awkward I know. No, put some zest into it- like so" Scruffy demonstrated again.

The girl watched Scruffy with laser focus that was rather unnerving, but that was as expected from the Troll Hunter.

Hermione for her part managed the spell finally, switching out a leaf from the houseplant with one of her fingers, looking rather bizarre.

"Good job." Scruffy said, but his thoughts were rather different. She's already on forth year Transfiguration... She's known of magic for a year. A year! How!

Hermione Granger grinned, she loved learning, a shame she couldn't invite Ron and Neville she thought, but she would be the first to admit they wouldn't like having to learn so much- especially not during Summer.

She had always liked earning stars in school on her papers, now that they were on her- well, where wasn't important, she thought with a blush- it was even better.

Being able to show her parents what she had been learning with the new wand was fantastic as well. Being able to see the magic, they were less insistent that she attend a muggle Summer school. Really, she knew everything they'd go over already!

* * *

The compartment was crowded- a worried Neville and Hermione sat across from Luna and Scruffy, half the compartment worried about the missing redhead who hadn't shown up.

"Lose something Mudblood?" The drawling voice she hated came from the recently opened compartment door.

Back straightening she turned towards the recently opened door to give the daft git a piece of her mind and blinked as she saw nothing but a bird.

"Sharing the gift of flight? How kind of you Scruffy." Luna said.

"Yeah, shame it's not permanent, I rather like him when he can't speak." Scruffy said.

Hermione wrinkled her nose, on one hand this was against all sorts of rules, on the other hand, it was rather impressive.

Besides, she'd rather like being an animal herself- Draco should feel lucky he gets to experience it. Nodding to herself, she hardly noticed the compartment bursting into laughter even as Crabbe and Goyle fled with a flamingo in tow.

Hopefully she'd manage full human transfiguration this year, having written ahead to ask to test out of a few years much like Scruffy had. She hadn't even known it was an option! Muggle schools in England didn't like letting people skip ahead.

* * *

The sorting was boring, at least until Ron Weasley stumbled into the great hall looking horrid- robes a tattered and arm hanging limply, and as soon as Ginny saw him, she screamed.

"There's a car in the forest! Just thought you ought to know!" A slightly concussed Ron Weasley shouted before giggling and fainting in a dead heap backwards, prompting another round of screams.

As Madam Pomphrey and Professor Mcgonagall rushed towards the downed boy, and his brothers split between comforting Ginny and worrying over Ron, Albus announced "I suppose we'll just have to sort the rest of the students- er, student tomorrow- now now everyone, calm down if you please- you'll get to have an experience that I no doubt you'll cherish- crashing on Hufflepuffs couch, it's every girl and boy's dream- they're so comfortable it's like sleeping on a pillow, they don't call them Hufflepuffs for nothing..."

* * *

"Huh, what the bloody hell Al? Didn't I sort the brats yesterday?"

"Hat, language!" The headmaster admonished the Sorting Hat.

"You don't have to bloody yell, I'm right here Al- oh, the children, right right... Guess we'll be needing a song-"

The hat was interrupted by the appearance of the morning post- and along them one carrying a red envelope headed to a mostly recovered but rattled Ron Weasley.

"Hey everyone, Weasley got 'emself a howler!" someone shouted even as Ron slumped in his seat as if to hide himself.

The red letter steamed even as the students surrounding him attempted to get him to open it... then it exploded open in a scream.

"Ronald Bilius Weasley! How dare you steal that car! Not only was it terribly irresponsible and reckless of you but your Father is facing an inquiry for work because of you! Oh, and Ginevra dear- no matter where you're sorted you'll make me and your Father very proud-" The howler spat and tore itself up into confetti spitting it out.

"Well, I know what this morning's sorting song will be!" The hat said even as the laughter died down.

"Hat, there's no need for a song." Albus said with a grimace, knowing classes would be starting soon.

"It's a tradition older than you young man, now where was I? Right, ahem, Ronald's Mom is a bitch-"

"Hey! That's our Mother you're talking about!" The Twins shouted in unison.

"She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world-"

"Hat!" Albus shouted.

"She a stupid bitch of a witch, if there ever was a bitch!"

"I'll kill him!" A crazed looking Ronald Weasley shouted brandishing his wand, not thinking of anything else but setting the hat on fire.

Albus tried telling him to sit back down, the hat was undeterred from his sorting song, "She's a bitch to all the boys and girls"

"Incendio!" Ron shouted pointing his wand at the hat.

"On Monday she's a bitch"

Ron Weasley's broken wand backfired, setting his robes on fire.

"On Tuesday she's a bitch-"

Ron's brothers George and Fred shot up from their seats, not thinking in the rush to get to him even as he was trying to disrobe.

"On Wednesday to Saturday, she's a bitch-"

Albus Dumbledore was faster, a geyser of water shooting at Ronald Weasley.

"Then on Sunday, just to be different-"

Of course, it was meant to be a gentle spray but he had ended the spell early in his haste- but whose wand hasn't cast a spell too early? It happened to all guys once in a while!

"She's a super King Kamehameha biyotch!"

"Sh... shut up hat." A dazed soaking Weasley moaned on the floor.

"Come on! You all know the words!"

"Enough!" Dumbledore thundered, and the hat decided one verse was enough, even as the Slytherins laughed clapped and cheered along with scattered pockets along the hall.

"Fine fine, ruin my fun, now, where are the first years?"

"Right..." A rather ruffled Professor Mcgonagall said, "Weasley, Ginevra!"

"I-I don't think I want to be sorted, not by the.. the bastard hat that just called my Mom a- well _that_ in song!" Ginny shouted, and Albus Dumbledore sighed, some mornings it didn't pay to get out of bed.

Ginny was eventually sorted despite her protests, ending up in Gryffindor presumably for refusing to be sorted for a good hour delaying classes for the morning much to most student's delight.


	16. The Death Of A Hero

Lucius Malfoy frowned over a glass of elf-made wine- not that it was particularly special. Elves were a sickle a dozen after all, but there was little chance of him drinking _muggle-_ made wine.

Lucius rather liked his life, but liked not being tortured even _more_. He did not _want_ The Dark Lord to return if he were being honest with himself.

In a mere decade he had done more for The Dark Lord's cause than _he_ had done in far longer, getting the ear of the Minister was a windfall he had to admit- with that he was able to get that disgusting Umbridge... lets say woman as the Minister's assistant, was called upon for advice frequently- rather a bit too frequently if he were being honest hence Umbridge.

What she lacked in manners, and looks, she more than made up for in zeal for the cause.

But now _this?_ The shade of The Dark Lord appearing... The chaos of the Third Floor Corridor hadn't robbed him of his mental capabilities certainly- he had been quick to take advantage of the situation to put Dumbledore in his place temporarily- Dumbledore on probation.

Sadly, the only way he could think of taking advantage of this he could think of, was also the way to a slow agonizing death should the Dark Lord return and discover it... Then again, with certain traitorous sections of the Ministry objecting to dark heirlooms now, keeping it was a liability. One of the few things he hadn't been able to block, and with the Muggle protection act gaining ground, he was rapidly coming to the conclusion that he had to do _something_.

Simply slipping the diary that _he_ had said would open the Chamber of Secrets and cleanse the school into the blood-traitor's school supplies was appealing in it's simplicity but if _he_ was returning... No, he rather felt he had to be tricky about it, and perhaps he could kill two birds with one stone?

* * *

"Is it true someone managed to break in your manor Draco?" Pansy asked, Scruffy normally wouldn't ease-drop but Pansy's voice was more than a little shrill that early in the morning.

Draco sighed "Yeah, it's terrible- luckily they didn't get any of _my_ personal belongings, but the thief managed to get away with some heirlooms, Father said."

"Do the Aurors have any leads?" Pansy asked sounding rather worried.

"No, well, there is one, Father said he saw them just as they fled- no doubt the filth knew they'd meet a quick end should they be caught- imprisoned of course. Father said he saw the people robbing the place all had red hair." He punctuated that remark by glaring across the great hall at the Weasleys.

"You don't think...?" Pansy trailed off.

"I don't know, they're certainly poor enough to be desperate, but there were more valuable things they could have taken, maybe they got scared off before they could though."

Frowning Scruffy shrugged it off as unimportant.

* * *

"Hi guys, have you seen my wand anywhere?" Neville asked in a rather small voice during breakfast one morning.

"That's not the kind of thing you ask a girl-" Luna started making Neville blush and stammer.

Hermione who had been looking with Neville for his wand rolled her eyes, though somewhat used to Luna's antics from the Summer clarified "No, the wand he uses for magic-"

"I'll bet it's magical." Luna said nodding.

"Yes, well, the one made out of wood." Hermione finished.

"Did I just hear the squib lost his wand? Just as well, isn't it, it's just a stick to him after all." The drawling voice of Draco Malfoy said to the titters of the Slytherins.

"Very mature I'm sure-" Hermione shook her head "It's really not worth talking to him, is it? So, Scruffy, Luna, if you see it be sure to tell us."

The two walked off without another word, or even looking at Draco who was quietly fuming.

Neville ended up having to get a new wand- his Grandmother rather disappointed in him for losing his Father's wand- to say nothing of how bad Neville felt about it.

* * *

Scruffy walked out of the sixth year's Defense Against The Dark Arts early much to the Ex-Auror's stammering protests and points removals that didn't go through, thankful for the deal with the Headmaster last year.

Supposedly the post was cursed, so he should be thankful as Dumbledore's choice could have been worse than a desk Auror that probably never had to defend his life, but he didn't see how.

"So hard... come... blood" Scruffy frowned at the voice, feeling as if he was missing some of the words, barely hearing them as it was. Still, someone so horny they came blood wasn't something he wanted to see.

Had he perhaps not drunk the null magic potion removing lingering traces of dark magic in his curse, he would have likely heard more.

* * *

"Wait, what do you mean Flinch's cat is petrified?" Scruffy asked Luna.

She shrugged "It was stiff and not moving."

"Huh, weird. Any clue what this Chamber business is about?"

"No, but I can help you ask around if you like." Luna offered.

"If you like, though if it's just going after pets- Oh no, my rabbits and doves!" Scruffy practically raced to check on his contraband animals, transfigured animals in magic tricks just weren't the same. Having Tinky to take care of them, he had finally purchased a couple of each this Summer and had made the mistake of having the elf take them to his quarters.

Sighing in relief upon noticing them safe and sound, quickly ordering Tinky the house elf to take them back to the Sub Rosa to take care of them there.

* * *

History class for the second years the day after the incident was a bit exciting as Scruffy heard that Granger asked the portrait teaching it for the day about the Chamber of Secrets.

He didn't know all that much, but did fill them in on the incidents fifty years past, petrifications and a death.

Scruffy frowned, he should have thought of that, he didn't have the blindness most of the students had about portraits despite having one teaching them some days when the professor decided a first hand account better than the text book.

Then again, he wasn't the biggest history buff.

Still, asking about for more information wasn't that important to him, it _was_ just a cat. Sounded like a prank up the Weasley twins alley, though in worse taste than their antics usually are. Maybe one of the students got ahold of a potion and forced the cat to drink it?

* * *

"So hungry, why... so hard... tastes salty."

Scruffy frowned at the perverted voice, it was happening more often and he was beginning to worry, though every time he heard it, the voice sounded clearer and clearer as if he were learning another language.

* * *

"What do you think could be doing this Luna?" Scruffy asked, student after student petrified by the monster, though thankfully no one he knew.

"I don't know, Hagrid said a Gorgon could do it, but they hate the cold. Maybe it's wearing a coat?"

Scruffy snorted, a coat indeed.

Hogwarts was feeling a lot less friendly with teams of roving Aurors and Professors scoured the castle, with students being herded like animals from class to class- he was perhaps the only student immune to it- feeling less than safe but as much as he wanted to be around to protect Luna if nothing else he just couldn't go back to going over things he had learned years back.

* * *

Hermione's frozen body prompted Scruffy, it was important now, he thought. Most portraits knew little more than he already did. One thing he did discover was that the student who died was named Myrtle, not that it helped him any.

The leads seemed to dry up, at least until he asked the farmer of the dungeon he had learned all those awesome defense spells from.

"My chamber has been opened?" The man frowned, his voice was surprisingly strong, it used to be that he had to strain to hear the man, often missing a word needing the patient farmer to repeat himself often, Scruffy recalled.

"Wait, your chamber?" Scruffy asked when the Farmers words registered.

"Well, yes. I may have been raised a farmer and retired a farmer, but there were a few years that I taught students here."

"Wait, what did you farm?"

"Basilisks of course." The man said proudly.

"You didn't happen to bring any here with you...?" Scruffy asked nervously.

"Oh my yes, I couldn't leave Bessie alone after all- I'd had her since I was 10."

The sinking feeling intensified even as Scruffy asked "Just where is this Chamber?"

"Oh, there's an entrance on the second floor- West side if I remember correctly, but the castle has changed so much who knows what it could be now, to say nothing of how the protections could have changed."

"Well, fuck."

* * *

"Their bodies shall lie in the chamber for everywhere." Scruffy read out-loud cursing as he intensified his search, of course when he _needed_ an Auror none was to be found, typical, he thought.

* * *

Scruffy stared in shock as the bludger hit Rack Wonky who in reflex batted it away with an arm- saving his head but leaving his arm broken, diving out of the way when it seemed to return- managing to save all but his ankle.

It didn't get a third try as someone managed to get off a blasting curse on it turning to dust.

He heard later that in the hospital wing the Auror professor had escorted him to that he had the craziest tale of an insane killer house elf that he had laughed off, but that raised the question on just who was trying to kill Red Weasel.

* * *

"Holy shit, I'm a parselmouth?" Scruffy nearly shouted, the sinks sliding back into a dark narrow tunnel.

Moaning Myrtle, resident ghost of the second floor girl's bathroom gasped shocked "Language!"

"Great, a ghostly Granger..." Scruffy muttered not quiet enough.

Thankfully instead of taking offense the ghost snorted "You can share my bathroom if you die down there."

Scruffy blinked, "I... Sure, thanks." He thought he'd prefer to haunt bloody Dumbledore at this point, sure the man had tried but his insistence on keeping the school open had led to _this._

"I shouldn't be doing this..." Scruffy muttered, before stepping into the tunnel and falling down the slide from hell.

* * *

Scruffy landed in a heap, bones of tiny creatures crunching under him and he winced as he got up.

Wand shooting to his hand lighting up in a wordless _Lumos_ , a wandless " _push_ " spell the Sub Rosa taught in the other hand, but there was nothing.

The next room nearly scared him out of wits, making him loosen the push spell that flung the giant snake skin against a wall.

Scruffy stared in numb shock at confirmation, the statue in the distance of the odd room full of statues of snakes and muggle warriors bared a canny resemblance to the old Farmer.

More importantly however... "What's the sorting hat doing here?" Scruffy wondered out loud, even as he approached the downed Ginger wearing the old thing.

A ghost of a teenage boy laughed menacing causing Scruffy to hop back. "Ronald here wanted a bit of revenge for the slights on his Mother. It is a shame, a shame indeed, he would have made a wonderful follower..."

"What.. What's wrong with him?" Scruffy asked pointing his wand at the ghost as he prepared a wandless disarming charm in his off hand.

"Ah, I'm afraid he wrote in my little book- rather annoying really- I hope I wasn't that bad back then... 'This class is so boring' Must have been written in my diary a hundred times if not more- not to mention how evil Slytherins are, he may have been led to believe I had been a Gryffindor... That and his disappointment that he wasn't born talented and smart like his all too numerous Brothers seemed to fill volumes, lucky for him I taught him his strengths and urged him to work harder..." Shaking his head disappointment "It was rather easy to use that hatred really, especially when told to by the person who showed him he wasn't a _complete_ failure in life that this Gryffindor or that Ravenclaw was a little _too_ sneaky and should be shown that being a Slytherin is bad. Doing that while steering him away from the Slytherins was more challenging- but even Ronald here isn't adverse to logic on occasion. After all, _everyone_ knows how he knows the Slytherins are evil- and they're all conveniently sorted there to be taken care of later, a later that of course would never come..."

Scruffy grimaced, "So you've been what, turning him into more of a berk and now you're tired of him?"

"Tired of him? Surely you jest, I was tired of him the very first time he found me in his trunk. No, I'm afraid that he is helping me even now, soon I will walk the Earth again, following in the footsteps the greatest wizard to ever live, the Dark Lord Voldemort..."

Scruffy raised an eyebrow "You're not so great- you're a failure. You've been attacking students and no one's died, not even the stupid cat. Besides, what about Merlin?"

"Oh yes, and just what came of Merlin's dreams of a utopia? Where is this fantastical land of Avalon that Merlin's pet muggle Arthur was supposed to lead into greatness?" The specter sneered, "As to my so called failings- I hardly cared about them when my real target has been you."

"Me?" Scruffy was liking this less and less.

"Oh yes, you see, I've been curious ever since Ronald first cursed your name. He, much like myself wonder how is it you, a mere boy- if somewhat talented destroy the greatest Dark Lord to walk the Earth?"

"Why do you care- he was before your time wasn't he?" The robes the ghost wore looked old fashioned enough at least Scruffy thought.

"Hardly, Voldemort is my past, present and future, for I, Tom Marvolo Riddle..." Writing the name with fire was a nifty trick, and frowning he saw that the wand Tom used was not Ron's- so that's what that redhead's name was- but instead was Neville's.

Blinking he saw the letters rearrange and felt like running and hiding as it spelled out "i aM loRd VoldemorT, "Now, tell me Harry Potter, just how is it you defeated him as a mere baby? Tell me and you shall live longer, perhaps even at my side- I may even be tempted to give you a quick death if you reject me..."

Scruffy frowned but didn't see any harm in it. "Fuck if I know, my best guess is my parents did something with runes considering the scar I had for a while looked rather like one I'm told."

"I see... A sacrificial ritual hm? Powerful indeed, perhaps your parents weren't so light after all... You know, in you I see a lot of myself, you much like I would have came here not for justice but revenge... Join me and together we'll be invincible..."

Scruffy shuddered at the very idea he could have something in common with Voldemort, but considered it briefly- perhaps he'd get a chance to escape or stab the ghost in the figurative back?

But thinking on how the Luna and the Sub Rosa would see it, he really couldn't do that to them.

"No, I see the answer clearly written on your face boy... So be it. _Speak to me Slytherin, greatest of the Hogwarts Four"_

The mouth of the old farmer slowly opened and Scruffy immediately sent the disarming charm at the ghost before turning his eyes away even as the wand flew off in the distance

"That won't help you boy." The spirit scoffed even as Scruffy turned his eyes away.

He wasn't so fool enough to have come empty handed however.

First plan of attack, Scruffy thought, shouting "Stop Bessie!" didn't do much, the laughing spirit was rather getting on his nerves as he explained "As if I would leave control of the greatest animal to ever live at risk of getting taken from my control should I ever have sired a child!"

Smoke and mirrors were a magician's bread and butter after all, though he was disturbingly lacking in the mirrors department...

Reaching into his pockets and throwing down smoke pellets and running, mirror in hand Scruffy ran straight into a statue.

"Knight, take care of the boy would you?" The phantom asked.

Scruffy nearly screamed as the statue of the knight came to life swinging a massive stone sword missing his head by inches and managing to shave off a bit of hair.

"Sniff him out, you can still smell him can't you? What do you mean no?" He heard distantly, and Scruffy smirked as he blasted apart the knight, of course the smoke wasn't completely scentless, who knew bathing regularly could pay off so well? He winced as he was peppered with fragments of the statue.

"Pawns, knights, bishops and queens, rooks and kings, get the boy!" The specter screamed.

Harry swallowed as the he heard the loud stomps of approaching stone, worse yet the smoke had cleared enough that the basilisk was coming.

He could barely hold his own against the stone knights, his shield charms holding up mere seconds before they took them down, barely buying him enough time to throw a blasting curse or two- and each time shrapnel peppered him hard enough to bruise and draw blood, with his back against the wall and the basilisk approaching he had no hope- and no time to let off a spell against the serpent.

Then Ronald Weasley stepped out of the shadows, sorting hat on his head covering his eyes, a giant sword of all things in his hand. The snake reared back in slight surprise before striking seeking to devour the boy whole, "Brace yourself, it's coming, NOW!" The sorting head shouted and the red head screamed "Eat this!" driving the sword into the roof of the snake's mouth piercing it's brain, crashing with a shriek that died down even as Ron dived to the side.

"No!" Tom screamed even as Ron shouted "Ch-Check!"

Blasting the last of the statues Scruffy ran towards Tom shooting spells that were deflected by the recovered wand in increasing annoyance, until a weakened poisoned Ron Weasley drove the fang that had been sticking in his arm into a book "Mate!" soon after slumping to the floor, the twin screeches coming from book and spirit dying down even as Neville's old wand clattered on the floor.

* * *

Omake:

"Wait, is that Neville's wand?" Scruffy asked the ghost somehow holding a wand- as if that made sense.

"Oh? Neville has showed you his wand so much that you think you recognize it?"

"Why does everyone have to make things so dirty?"


	17. The Rise Of Lord Hogwarts

CH 17. Always two sides OR A Flip Of The Coin

Albus Dumbledore grinned at the start of the new school year, though that turned into a frown when he was back in the privacy of his office. Something felt... off with the wards. Familiar, yet dark... Not that it helped much.

Sadly, the wards weren't that great at anything but defending against hoards of muggles truth be told, he rather hoped it wasn't anything serious, but had no way of knowing, and all his efforts to get the board of Governors to approve updating them failed- they were artifacts he was told- and the founders created them, so surely they must be great and powerful!

Albus scoffed. Despite the reverence placed upon their ancestors and especially the founders, magic _had_ evolved and changed- though it was rather stagnant in recent times. Oh there were _some_ forgotten spells and rituals far more powerful than most as he knew all too well, but take _fiendfyre_ for instance! Why that had been invented by the man who had been his greatest mistake less than a century ago, and was one of the darkest and most powerful spells!

Speaking of fire, he had started approaching burn out last year with so many irons in the fire, but Arthur's muggle protection act was finally nearing approval finally. He rather felt he could ease off that and perhaps take the extra day he had been using upon that on writing down some of his knowledge he had gained over the years lest it was lost? Well, truth be told it already was lost to those that spoke and read in nothing but English- and much of it like _fiendfyre_ he rather thought should _stay_ lost.

Yes... There was something to that. He frowned as he passed the mirror in his quarters, curses, another auburn hair, he'd have to get some more of that muggle dye, though what he could do about his slowly vanishing wrinkles, he hadn't the faintest of ideas.

* * *

The petrification of the cat was enough to know what was happening vaguely, and who, if not how.

The crude note of the Chamber's opening clued him in even more, he grimaced and immediately flooed the Ministry.

To his frustration he couldn't even close the school down- if he were to do that, _he_ would be free to gather his strength in privacy and strike from the shadows once more- Albus simply didn't know enough about the how it was happening!

* * *

Furious, Albus Dumbledore paced his office, they couldn't spare any Aurors over a cat, no matter who asked, not until a student had been petrified, and even then they sent a mere four! Did they not realize the severity of the situation? Did the event they had witnessed last year mean nothing!?

* * *

Kicked out of his position freed Albus's time more, not that he wished such a thing. Fortunately Minerva was kind enough to, on his advice, hire him for a mere pittance to take a stint teaching History. He had frowned over not having seen young Harry in classes before sighing and accepting it.

* * *

Upon seeing the second message he managed to convince a couple of the Aurors to stand by with him, even as the others as well as teachers scoured the school.

* * *

"Fawkes! Fawkes you overgrown turkey, get in here now!" The sorting hat shouted from the ground where he had landed.

* * *

An old man carrying a cock appeared in a flash of fire with Fawkes and two Aurors that immediately separated. Even as the two scoured the chamber, destroying completely the few statues that still had a limb or two remaining Albus Dumbledore conjured a sphere of light so bright Scruffy was half blinded by it even as he slumped down the wall he had been leaning against, the last thing he saw was the bird crying over the Redhead's corpse.

* * *

Scruffy woke up and nearly panicked when his world turned to fire, reappearing within the hospital wing, the body of Ron Weasley lying still in the bed next to the one he was placed.

"Easy there, Harry, rest, you are safe now..."

Seeing that it was Dumbledore, Scruffy wasn't that assured. Still, it was over... "Ron ... Ron saved me, he shouldn't be- they should give him an order of Merlin, not spit on his name!"

"Rest assured, Ronald will not be punished, I know what occurred in the chamber-"

"If you know why the hell weren't you there!" Scruffy shouted incensed.

Albus Dumbledore shrunk down in on himself in shame "I did try my dear Boy but..." He sighed, no explaination would due when he had asked himself that question more than once, he should have been able to put together the facts. "Quite right... I should have done better, but it was only when someone called for Fawkes frown within the chamber that I was able to access it..." Shaking his head, that was just an excuse, perhaps there had been some other way? He... He could have used the boy- parseltongue would have been his guess as to how to access the chamber, and clearly the boy was willing to put his life on the line to do what was right. Having him say "Open" to a snake throughout the school might have let the secret out, but would they have found the Chamber earlier.

Scruffy frowned even as the man was shooed away from the hospital wing by an irate Madam Pomfrey who to Scruffy's shock was administered potions and was soon stirring awake to his relief- he was alive after all, though the road to recovery wouldn't be the quickest.

The hat had pulled him back to consciousness even as his life force was being drained did his body no favors save making sure that he _could_ survive to recover.

* * *

Seeing Lucius Malfoy and the house elf trailing after him through the door of the hospital that things started adding up in his mind. The supposedly homicidal elf targeting Ron and more... The diary just appearing in Ron Weasley's trunk, the supposed theft of heirlooms but none of Draco's surely expensive possessions taken...

It all gave a rather chilling picture, Scruffy wished he had some proof.

* * *

It was horrifying, Scruffy thought, worse than the monster of the chamber, worse than nearly dying a death fro a thousand cuts.

"What were you thinking? Are you trying to give me a heart attack?" Rosie shouted even as Ron snorted in his sleep, the Weasley family fussing over him.

"I had to- Ron was down there and well-" He didn't want to say he was only saving him because he was Hermione and Neville's friend, nor did he want to say a larger part was revenge for petrifying a still frozen Hermione, not with the Weasley's right there- Molly had already virtually attacked the boy thanking him after Ron fell back asleep- he'd end up sleeping most of the term away, the lucky sod.

Still, it was rather nice of Dumbledore to arrange this... He had seemed rather upset about the whole thing, but he couldn't think of a single reason to keep the school open, not with such danger to students.

One thing he did know for sure though, he was done cleaning up other people's messes.

* * *

That Summer was much like the one before it for Scruffy, making enough money for supplies, excess going into the Sub Rosa's projects, at least until the string of explosive headlines graced the nation.

 _"'You're fired.' Dumbledore speaks out to the Hogwarts board of Governors!"_

Dear readers, as we all know, Dumbledore's part in our stories is often little more than him being unavailable or unwilling to comment, but in a rare change Dumbledore stopped by the Daily Prophet and submitted a short press release.

The man who defeated Grindelwald and has been teaching before most of us were born didn't stay for questions- and for once this reporter isn't annoyed by that, having most of the important questions answered already.

For the full transcript see page 12, but the short of it is Dumbledore is angry and isn't taking it anymore.

For years and years Dumbledore claims- and this reporter was easily able to confirm the rumors- that the Hogwarts Board of Governors have neglected if not outright abused their positions, from misappropriating funds to merely mismanaging them. The straw that broke the hippogriff's back was that for the second year Hogwarts has played host to beings posing a danger to students, something that proper wards could have prevented. Wards which the school governors didn't wish upgraded.

They had a rather good point too, is Dumbledore depriving us of our heritage, destroying the last great magics of the founders?

Has his power gone to his head, as he rejects the board of governors entirely, rejecting all inquiries and demands from them firm on his stance that Hogwarts is better off without them?

Is it the sign of dementia or something darker?

For more see pages 12-20.

Scruffy put down the paper numbly in shock, having not seen that coming at all.

The rest of the Summer, Scruffy's magic acts and Wizarding studies continued mostly unabated, but that wasn't his main focus, as every day there seemed to be a new shocking headline as Dumbledore's decision shook the magical world. He like most devoured the shocking papers one after another eagerly looking forward to the next.

The world finding out that Hogwarts wards had been upgraded had been hilarious as the picture of Lucius Malfoy found himself above the great lake flailing before dropping in with a splash along with the other two board members, a fat old woman and a man that looked like a 30's villain complete with top hat, cape, and a dastardly looking mustache.

Dumbledore was vilified in the papers, and the reporter claimed that the ministry was currently investigating their claims, deciding what to do.

It was only days later that the main proponent in keeping the board running, Lucius Malfoy, was _arrested,_ and ore shocking, his old supposed _friend_ was testifying against him, one Severus Prince. The charges were the ones that _had_ been dismissed- but new classified evidence came to light. Scruffy had wondered why Dumbledore had wanted his and Ron's memories, and he hadn't seen much harm in it- after all the man already knew the gist- and Ron had accepted immediately anyway.

Ron Weasley won the Newspaper's giveaway, and not long after, Sirius Black escaped from Azkaban.

Then most shocking of all- the Dementors were dead, all of them, the wards of Hogwarts acting as a mosquito Lamp to the creatures who were meant to guard the school from black.


	18. A Bit Of The Old Ultraviolence

Scruffy hadn't wanted to go back to Hogwarts. Of course, that wasn't anything _new_ exactly, but with all that had happened over the Summer...

Dumbledore had gone unhinged they said, but the ministry's grumblings had been silenced by the arrest and conviction of Lucius Malfoy- and with that the board of Governors feared for their own hidden skeletons should they press the issue they didn't dare, no one really opposed him.

Most of the Sub Rosa that Scruffy knew seemed to think he shouldn't go back now because of it.

All except Luna and Hermione.

No matter what the girls said, he wasn't _moping_ as he climbed onboard the express with the girls.

* * *

The train ride wasn't anything special, but to their shock Ron Weasley of all people was stopped by the wards, the bright blue dome springing up preventing him from getting through all the way.

Scruffy would have thought Ron Weasley would be the last person to smuggle in a dark artifact- not after last year, but here he was trying to go through the wards stopped by something in his pocket that no amount of pulling got through.

"Why... Scabbers?" Ron asked confused, getting the rat out of his pocket.

"Ow, don't bite me Scabbers- stop!" Ron managed to keep hold on the rat but... out of the rat seemed to sprout a fat man who was running and transforming back into a rat in mid stride.

Ron wasn't the same boy he had been even a year ago, and while he was still confused as to what was going on, he wasn't going to let the man who was impersonating Scabbers get away, and managed to dive and catch it, and even as the rat transformed back into a man Ron was ready.

Having five older Brothers rough housing with him to say nothing of vicious little Ginny was a far cry from fighting with a single rat faced man, especially one that seemed to not want to hurt Ron too badly.

Ron, was pummeling the rat, a punch or kick between every word, "Why- does- this- keep- happening- to- me! - You- slept- in- my- bed- you- sick- piece- of- shit- where's- the- real- Scabbers- you- bastard!?" when Hermione finally mercifully stunned him.

Ron Weasley fell backwards and the fat man managed a squeaky "Thanks Lils, knew Gingers didn't have souls, I'm just going to take a little nap. Cheerio." the fat man was out like a light after that.

"That will be 50 points to Gryffindor to Miss Granger and Mister Weasley for your fast actions this night. I do believe this is the fastest anyone has earned points at Hogwarts in centuries..." Professor Dumbledore mused even as Mcgonagall who had followed the man gasped questioning "Albus is that Peter Pettigrew?"

Scruffy frowned, the name felt like one he should know, though before he could think where he had heard it they were shooed off even as they trussed up Pettigrew like a spring chicken.

The large black dog watched on in glee.

* * *

"I think everyone assumed it would just sort of be over when students got to Hogwarts... Now this." Scruffy muttered slapping the paper, 'Lord Hogwarts demands trial for Sirius Black' read the prophet's latest headline.

"They're really rolling with this Lord Hogwarts thing aren't they?" Luna asked, "I wonder if I could become the Princess of Pudding...?"

Scruffy couldn't help a snort, "You have my vote."

* * *

Of course, the headline wasn't that bad- the next days though...

'The Ministry is guilty! Sirius Black declared innocent!'

Which was nothing compared to the letter Scruffy read and reread.

"I have a bloody Godfather?" a disbelieving Scruffy wondered.

* * *

Christmas break was... different.

"So then I tells them I'm not Stubby, and I pull down my pants to show them-" The Sub Rosa listening mostly burst out into laughter save a disappointed looking Luna.

"So if you can believe it they agreed to drop the charges. Just goes to show how much better the Muggle legal system is- I wish I could have mooned the magical ministry to prove my innocence- but I guess that's more Moony's job-" "Hey!"

"So that's why you're called Moony? Huh, I thought you were a werewolf." Luna said and Scruffy couldn't help joining in the laughter, even Sirius's friend or lover or whatever the man was gave a few nervous titters. He was at least a good professor, Scruffy thought.

The two men had been inducted in the Sub Rosa once Scruffy gave his reluctant consent. It seemed that the black dog had already been by to check on him, only he'd been away and Rosie was never one to turn away a stray, Scruffy thought fondly.

* * *

"You'll write me, right?" The man looked as nervous as he had the first time they'd seen each other. Scruffy nodded. Sure, he had the Sub Rosa but none of _them_ ate _rats_ to try and protect him from another rat. He couldn't help a fond smile as the overgrown child picked Scruffy up in a hug twirling him about even as he yelled for him to stop.

* * *

The rest of the school year... was boring honestly. It was _strange,_ not having some big danger or mystery at the end of the year, but Scruffy for one was relieved.

* * *

Omake:

The screams as they arrived at Hogsmeade Station didn't help Scruffy's mood at having returned to Hogwarts- but with the crowd surrounding the back of the train where they came from, Scruffy couldn't see anything.

"Lets just go, we won't be able to see anything." Luna said.

"You just want to get to the pudding." Scruffy said, noting Luna didn't refute that.

Most of the staff wasn't there- only Mcgonagall announcing names, and Sprout seated at the table, which fit well with the much reduced student body, Gryffindor still seemed to have nearly everyone, same with Hufflepuff... but the Slytherin and Ravenclaw houses were looking particularly depleted.

Scruffy slowly grinned, he didn't see Draco, the ever present annoyance! Crabs and Boils were gone as well he noted with glee.

The teachers made their way in slowly throughout the speech, before Dumbledore himself entered and waited for the last student to be sorted.

"Your attention please... There has been an ... incident- an unregistered animagus was caught by the new wards... Madam Pompey has assured me that she has plenty of calming drought left for any who needs it. One Ron Weasley was somewhat injured in the incident but is expected to join you in classes tomorrow..."

"Wonder what that's all about?" Scruffy wondered.

He didn't have long to wait as the students who had been gawking had finally left, at least some of them, and the story spread.

Ron Weasley and his rat crossed the wards and chaos insured as both boy and mouse were unable to go any further closer to Hogwarts... the rat and boy who had been in the restroom had ended up stopping in mid air a if hitting a wall, before the rest of the train caught up to him... only for his rat to explode in his pocket and turn into a bloody mess of a man.

Scruffy felt a bit sick thinking about it, what if his tattoos had reacted badly with the wards?

His wasn't the only incident as more than a few minor dark artifacts had not crossed their wards, nor did their trunks they were contained within.

Scruffy felt bad for Ron, everything bad seemed to happen to him... He had thought after last year he would have been okay, having heroically saved Scruffy's life... and now _this._


	19. Goblet of Nope

"Happy rat bashing day Scruffy." Scruffy looked at Luna in blurry eyed confused a moment before he groaned, "Luna, can you please get off my chest?"

"Yes I can." Luna said brightly wiggling a bit.

"Please get off my chest."

"Alright Scruffy." Luna did as asked this time.

"Please leave so I can get dressed."

"Why, did you develop boobies or something I hadn't seen on you before since the last time we got dressed together? Ooh, we can compare, I bet mine are bigger than yours."

"No Luna..." He cursed as his _Tempus_ showed that it was nearly time to go, and started rushing, Scruffy hated September firsts.

"Oh are there tentacles?" He shouldn't have tried really.

* * *

The train ride and entrance to the school proper wasn't anything to write home about this year, no strange announcements about dire doom, just a lightning storm and a monster of a teacher, metal leg and wooden cane thumping across the great hall even as Albus Dumbledore finished his speech introducing the man. Moony was off touring the Sub Rosa learning and teaching what he could, always an academic. He was also dragging Padfoot along for the ride so Scruffy hoped the new teacher was up to snuff but was starting to think about leaving.

* * *

The main thing on everyone's minds was the Tri-Wizard tournament.

"I can't believe Hogwarts isn't competing, it's a tragedy!" Scruffy groaned as the booming voice of Ron Weasley complained.

"Instead Salem's Witches Academy steals our spot! Hogwarts has been in the Tri-Wizard tournament forever but no! A thousand galleons gone like that!"

Scruffy wanted to jeer at him- that he'd never have won it but... Last year Ron had been different, not just in beating that Rat-Man to a pulp. He'd been focused much more and... Well, he was getting to the point where Hermione was trying to get him membership in the Sub Rosa.

Scruffy had a brief vision of the Sub Rosa buildings all painted Chudley Cannons orange, all tattoos orange or worse. "Ron would shrink us and make us his Oompa Loompas..." Scruffy muttered in horror.

"Great, Luna, you've gone and infected Harry with your madness." Hermione having joined them complained.

* * *

"Hey Harry." Scruffy tried not to groan, he'd long ago accepted the majority wouldn't call him by a nickname.

"Yes what is it... Colin right?"

"Yeah, you remember me, wow!"

"Er, you wanted something?"

"Oh, right! Professor Mcgonagall gave me this to give to you-" Scruffy took the note as if it would bite, he'd never got on well with the strict teacher.

"Thanks Colin. Wait, why didn't she just find me herself or call a house elf- or tell Flitwick?" A baffled Scuffy wondered.

"I dunno Harry- you mind if I get your picture, we didn't really get to talk last-"

Well, that answered that nothing even as Harry tried not to run away from the overeager fanboy.

Reading the note Scruffy frowned "Looks like the headmaster wants to see me about something important, it's good to know he likes Cockroach Clusters I guess. Oh fine, one picture." Merlin cursed puppy-dog eyes.

* * *

"You wanted to see me Headmaster?" Scruffy tried not to fidget nor look about like some first year at the weird gadgets and gizmos within. It helped that he was annoyed it had taken him a few minutes to realize the password to get into the office.

The headmaster looked unexpectedly grave, "Harry my boy, I'm afraid to be the bearer of bad news..."

* * *

Scruffy stood in front of the mirror, and wondered how it had come to this.

"It's like my life's author gave up on me or something." He thought aloud.

"Still, there's no way I can survive- I'm not up to competing against adult wizards."

Rose's hand on his shoulder was barely a comfort. "I know Scruffy- it's okay- you can help us from the other side.

He winced not really believing that. Still, he helped some. "I've willed everything to the Sub Rosa- I might come back someday though, right?"

"Maybe, at least this way your magic and life isn't at risk."

"Yeah." Scruffy turned and gave Rose one last hug, before saying "I love you Mum." "I love you too, my Son- ah to hell with it- I'm coming with you! They can manage without us!"

Hand and hand they went on to their next great adventure passing through the liquid like mirror, Luna following after smiling at the moment they had.

"Come on Daddy!" Luna said reaching her hand back through the mirror grabbing Xeno who had been content to examine it.

* * *

"Where did the Hogwarts Library go!?" Hermione wondered befuddled before seeing the note.

She had to read it aloud, she just couldn't wrap her mind around it. "Gone on break, took some light reading -Scruffy."

The magically amplified shout of "SCRUFFY!" was said to be as heard as distant as Hogsmede.

* * *

Omakes: I write bits and pieces as they come to me, this is an old one from way back when Snape hadn't changed his name, when Dumbledore wasn't Lord Hogwarts and hadn't improved the wards.

The fire in the goblet re-lit and belched out one final piece of parchment. Scruffy had a sinking feeling that was confirmed a moment later as the not so wizened hand of Albus Dumbledore plucked a parchment out of the air. "Harry Potter..." He whispered before shouting "Harry Potter!"

A loud bang was heard, and with a throbbing hand Scruffy shouted "I don't fucking believe this bullshit!"

There were gasps at the language and to no one's surprise the Prince of Ponces drawled in the insuring silence "That will be 100 points from-"

"No, and fuck you too you grease stain!"

"That will be 400 points from-"

"The points system isn't even in effect this year you stupid, sadistic, grease stain of a man!"

With a loud sound akin to a cannon blast, and Dumbledore commanded "Enough!"

"I'll say it's fucking enough, you senile old failure!"

The gasps of shock resented through the great hall and Dumbledore gasped himself as Scruffy continued.

"Four years running you've proven you can't keep us safe! The wards can't even keep out a troll, you can't even tell when one of your teachers has been possessed- you stored dark lord bait inside of a school, and that was just my first year! Second year, there was a fucking dark artifact and a basilisk- third year dementors that very nearly sucked out my soul and who knows how many other close calls there have been! But now this? This is the final straw- if I survive this I will not be returning to this utterly pathetic excuse for a school and I encourage anyone that doesn't want to die a very painful death to do the same! This is not a threat as I'm sure some of the more dimwitted of you may believe- but a warning that this school is clearly not the least bit safe!"

Albus Dumbledore had been getting more and more furious with the airing of Hogwart's dirty laundry, his failures no matter how hard he tried- but upon reaching "die a very painful death" it was transfigured seamlessly into shame, his words at the start of Harry's first year parroted back in this context...

"I'm not sure if you're evil, senile or just incompetent, and I'm not sure what it says about the magical world that they haven't tossed you into Azkaban where you clearly belong, you-"

"That will be detention for the rest of term-"

"You will either leave this castle, or I will kill you." Scruffy said resolutely.  
"Are you threatening me you moronic pustule?" Snape's voice was low and dangerous.

"Yes, try washing your ears out you grease stain, that might help with your hearing problems. One more word and-"

"ENOUGH!" The castle seemingly shook in the sheer violence of the shout of a fed up Dumbledore.

"Yes Potter, lets see you escape suspension this-"

"You're fired." Dumbledore said finally, decided.

"Excuse me?"

"No, I'm afraid there's no excuse for your behavior- I thought you had changed- the classes I observed- don't look so shocked Severus- they gave me hope- even if you hadn't improved much as much as I would have liked... No more- leave, you are no longer welcome here."

* * *

"Wait, where did the dragon eggs go?"

* * *

"Wait, where did the Merpeople go?"

* * *

"I'd like to see them steal a maze, or one of those adorable creations of Hagrid's, especially with everyone watching carefully this time!"

* * *

"Wait, where did the Hogwarts Library go?"

* * *

"Oh no, where did the students go?"


End file.
